It sounds like to me that you are doing good things not to escalate conflict with a guy who is spoiling for a fight about money, the kids, the house, etc.
I think it's also good not to beg, plead, but stay calm and polite and hopeful about your M. That is your right to express yourself without trying to convince. You don't have to share his opinion or attempt to convince him of yours.
The fact is you have your work cut out for you. He may be hellbent on all of this because of whatever mood thing he has going on with the stress. You can read some of those articles about boundary statements not to allow someone to verbally abuse you. There's seems to be a difference between standing up for yourself by not engaging and saying calmly "I will speak to you when you are calmer sometime" or somethign like that and giving him a "piece of your mind" about his actions and words. I'm not saying he doesn't deserve it. I'm saying take the high road so as not to escalate the war about money and the house because you need a place to live!
Hope this week gets easier for you. Hang in there!
I don't think there's any perfectly "right" or correct way to DB. People on here say it's a work in progress not to make a situation worse and hopefully improve it.
