I know what you mean. I told ex that if we ever broke up they were going to know the truth that it wasn't us just not getting along. What did we fight about? His affair!!
He told the kids about OW when I was taking a drive to cool off after an argument. He did everything about the whole situation his way which amounted to cowardly and cruel. Back and forth take your pick. That is why I think it is really important that you both be there.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory