just put his clothes from the closet in a pile in the guest room- will bag them when S wakes up. After I take S to tumbling and he has lunch I will go get my damn tires rotated.ha!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
done. also bought a smaller cordless electric screwdriver to make it easier to finish installing the remainder of childproof latches. the one I was using was so honkin' huge that I can't get into tight spaces and WH took the one we had.
next tasks-mow lawn (it rained damn it) try out the weed wacker clean the office buy some nice rock-brick thingamabobs to build a wall around the small mound of dirt in front yard
very big tasks: paint spare bathroom tile the counter top (my SIL will help me with this) mount moulding
I really think the very big tasks will be ones I accomplish after I change the visitation arrangement
buy a tool belt? purple? lol!!!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Newmama, I hope you see a L. You have nothing to lose but a bit of money.
Glad to hear about your long-distance friend . You have no reason to feel guilty IMO, and frankly I think it helps with detachment otherwise WAS wouldn't use other people to detach from their spouses.
Whatever you posted before about deadlines isn't binding IMO. You have a right to act according the feelings and information that you have now. It's OK to change to plan B when you are clear on where you stand.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
I love your "signs" story a few posts back-- if you weren't supposed to go, you'd get lost. I do this ALL THE TIME and have for years. I kind of think of it as my religion, ha ha! So I fully believe in it. You weren't supposed to go on that day!
I also like this new friendship that popped up. Rock on.
Your house/yardwork is inspirational. Maybe someday I'll really dig in to the technology that I have and really understand it. . . and then I'll post things like, "I connected the modem with the hard drive and downloaded cookies into the file." I spent a long time thinking of those words right now, believe me!
TTYL
me, 30 WH, 29 D born June 2010 M: July 2001 Bomb/S: 1/14/10 Done with it all.
FM- yes I know you think I should meet with an L (lol! you've said it a few times! ((hugs)) )Thank you for thinking of me. I have an uncomplicated financial situation and unless something comes up that is fishy I will be fine without an L.
Gatsby- glad I am not the only one who asks for signs! And I am with you on the technology-but I have no desire personally to get to know my computer that intimately lol!
CW- I did feel empowered throwing his clothes in a pile. As I ripped them from the hangers it made me think of "Waiting to Exhale" where Angela Bennett rips all of her H's clothes off their hangers- but she set them on fire in his BMW in the driveway!
I am not starting the new visitation arrangement yet. It is my last card so to speak- will talk it over with my therapist on Thursday.
Today it is supposed to be dry so after S' swim class, I will mow the lawn. And my cordless screwdriver is charged so I can get busy installing the latches.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I am intimidated by the weedwacker. I will have to have the 12 year old who mows my lawn show me.
Sorry, but I am just not going to mow the lawn. I hate the time/fuel put into keeping grass shorter! The neighbor kid is a real entrepreneur, and it is just as good to pay him to do it.
I want to paint the downstairs bathroom--ooh, maybe I should get to that before X comes into the house to get the china cabinet! That would be good.
Keep up the good energy, NM. But don't wear yourself out!
I didn't mow the lawn or install the latches! I was busy setting up daycare and going to swim class, talking to friends on the phone, cleaning and cooking.
And I feel good! Aver, thanks for giving me permission to slow down on the projects lol!
WH came over, split my panini with me, then I worked out for almost an hour and by the time I was done S was in bed. I watched TV while he read some mags and then he left. He cleaned the kitchen (told him that I would do it but he insisted), set up some baby gates and fixed the changing table.
(I picked up rotisserie chicken, shredded it, added BBQ sauce, and put mozzarella and tomato on ciabatta roll. Then popped it into the George Forman grill). Made some soup on the side- was inspired by 5 ingredient Fix on Food Network but she used pot roast for her panini!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Just saw my therapist- he was familiar w/ Michelle Weiner Davis and said although she is not heavily research based, many of her suggested approaches are based on research. He big into using research based methods- always cites the study or method he is recommending.
Main points- 1) he "approves" of what I am doing by waiting out-being pro-marriage (based on my individual sitch.)I asked him what he thought-he did not volunteer( he is a good therapist like that) I just said I would like to know your opinion. Am I being a fool for not filing? He said "if you don't want the divorce, then why file?" and he asked me about limits being in place. I explained how WH is over here most of the time but that I avoid him a lot. He said that is good for him to be here to see my changes and to wonder what I am doing-as long as it is not too painful for me to be around him. He said some other stuff too.
2)It is good that I am "preparing" for divorce but to also "prepare" for reconciliation (!)
We did not delve deeply into these things yet because there was paperwork and an overview of goals, etc. I will not be sharing every detail on here of course!
gotta go!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
. You have no reason to feel guilty IMO, and frankly I think it helps with detachment otherwise WAS wouldn't use other people to detach from their spouses.