formerly here we go again

[Jstar]

In the past weeks, I can think of times where he has said things that have led me to believe he does want the marriage and not done things that said he does want the marriage.
1. has not disconnected the cell phone he does pay for
2. has not filed for divorce
3. suggested church counseling - don't know if he was serious or not
4. kissed my forhead
5. let me know i aroused him (just man thing or wanting marriage??)
I can look for things and cator it to that need or go the oppositve way.
1. said loves me but to much pain
2. can't take it anymore
3. says he's never gonna change

I guess what i'm trying to say is i think we both are conflicted. we both have ALot of pAIN froM WHAT we've done TO each oTHER, neither one of us have Unstuck ourselves or so i think for him.

i have no clue what he does.

I did allow him there for the birth, when saw son was we can work it out jennifer, for a short period of time it was okay, positive then situations happen and we both mess it up.

i know there is love there between the both of us.

make a change, i could and i have no clue if it is going to be worth it. I guess since we do not have a pending divorce there is always a chance.

On Easter i was with HIS family he was shocked and mentioned it the next time we spoke.

He always just wants to pick up d2.5yr and i could be okay, take both kids for an hour or two. that way he gets to see both kids, see what it reallyis like to care for 2 such young kids with no help.

if he really does follow thru - time will only tell.

I believe if I DO NOT make a change - serious drastic change the situation will continue as it is.

I guess just trial and error of what change to make or do?

suggestions?