Loved&lost, my heart goes out with you. I'm facing the same situation. My ex is a walk away wife, so I didn't want divorce all along; I'm working on mine getting her back and would like sharing some of my thought.
1. Know yourself: get some relationship book to read and reflect on your own. Face it, we guys screw up and need to change. Yes, you need time to heal; and also to learn. 2. Determine to change: Yes, change yourself not her. You can't change anybody but yourself. If you are serious getting her back, you need to change. 3. Love unconditionally: in case you haven't, read this http://www.divorcebusting.com/a_while_spouse_decides.htm 4. Pray: You need supernatural power to accomplish this mission impossible. With God, you can tap into his great love, to heal you, have power to change and can love unconditionally.
Have some cool break with your ex to let hurt and unpleasant to settled. Definitely cut down interaction for at least a month; meeting some platonic female friends might help you feel better. Ironically, you need to feel completely okay to let go then you will be able to get her back. Next time (when you are all cool) when you meet, you should be completely fine for the separation and respect her every opinion. Treat her just a good old friend and show genuine love to her, meaning you put her opinion and desire and feeling first, not yours. Unconditionally love that is. You can't fake it because she will feel it. Give her good emotion every time you meet, but don't push her for a relationship - never mention that. The idea is to break off the old destructive pattern in the old relationship. Now both of you are in the same ground and build a "new" relationship again. Key is you must have changed to do that. Yes, this is not easy and you are doing it one-sided only, and it is not guaranteed will work. How big the driving force you have is determined by how much you love her.
