Tell me what you guys think about this. Looked like one of our boys might be sick this morning (turned out he was OK and went to school), but I had the converation with STBX about him staying home. Didn't talk about a plan or anything, or who would do it. But her takeaway from this (in summary) is that we need to change the settlement so that she needs to GET PAID from me if she misses work to take care of the boys.
When I saw her in person, I said I think we need to talk. And I asked her... "Do you want to be a parent to these boys?" Said that in this 50/50 arrangement, she's seeing them 3 hours a day, that's it (and she has suggested that they take the bus in the morning, instead of spending her time with them). I told her that I was disappointed in her, that the kids need attention and her first response to this is money. I actually used the word disgusted at some point. I let her have it.
And yeah, she yelled and called names. When I left she immediately called and apologized, and we talked a little bit.
But then - she sent a note to the mediator to put a hold on the final papers, and sent me a proposal about how she should be paid.
I replied and said, why would we not specify that we have joint responsiblity for this, 1:1 ratio of time we would spend home with the boys on sick days. SHe spends a day, I spend a day.
Now, keep in mind, I'm already paying support according to the agreement, and her time in the settlement is 7:15am to 6:00 PM, and I'm signed up to pay half of child care as well when they're not in school.
She's brought this up before, that if I'd need her to watch the boys at night or something, that I'd pay her some rate.
Seriously - she's positioning herself like the nanny or the babysitter. So I called her on it. I told her I need to know that she's going to be a partner in raising these boys.
Kind of a rude thing to say to a mother. And it did get to her (which she said in the phone call).
But frankly I find it appaling that she'd be more concerned about money that the kids' well being. Yeah, I brought that up too, that how dare she talk about my interest in the kids' well being (some comment she made recently) after putting us all through this divorce because she wanted to go date (which she denied that was her motivation). God, I'm getting worked up again.
OK, what do you guys think? What's fair here? Obviously there are two sides here, and I'm on - well - mine.
