Wow! your sit. seems so much like mine. No intimacy for at least as long as you. (Un)Fortunately W dropped bomb on me 3/1/10 she wants D. I told her that the kids won't be surprised when she leaves in June.
I find it hard to believe sit like yours will improve at this stage - at least with the status quo. Having the conversations that the veterans are talking about above will definitely make some impact. At least you will shake things up so that you have a better perspective on the future.
BTW: your kids are not blind to what is going on. I'm realizing that I am teaching by example. Time to man up for me!
