No, I don't want to tell them their dad is a cheater. That may come long down the road...the only other reason I would ever tell them is if he winds up having a 'legit' relationship with OW where the kids are around her, or he lives with her, or marries her...shudder!
If any of those happened I would want to be able to tell them why mommy does not want to hang out with daddy's new friend...I mean if/when he has a relationship with someone else I will have to learn to deal with it, as will he with me. But I will not be able to just jump on board with that if it turns out to be ow...
Ironically Dan could not stand GG in high school. GG was a wrestler and Dan hated all the cocky wrestler types. Plus he was on the golf team with Dan. Dan has said on more than one occasion how he dislikes GG...however GG went to a pro golf school after high school and has been employed as a golf pro. I can only imagine Dan's face if he ever heard that GG was helping teach Nathan to golf!
However he does not get to choose who I date after we divorce, after all he didn't ask me for approval of who he dated while we were married!!
BBJ I couldnt handle my XH popping by on his time with the kids for any reason. The kids dad did that as way to see what i was doing......I told him, he could take what he needed when he got them, or have it available at his house, and IF IF he really needed something....he needed to call in advance. otherwise, he wasnt to come by. seriously he is a man, he should have his own tools....not need any that are at your house lol.
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
BG they are HIS tools he never got out of my garage...I can't exactly lift a craftsman 4-foot tool chest any carry it anywhere! Once in a while he comes by to get an angle grinder, T square, whatever, I don't keep track...I just told him keep the tools and I will keep most of the furniture!
Oh and that comment about GG teaching Nate to golf was a joke....I dont' get any guys involved in my kids' lives and have no intention to do so unless/until I date a guy for a decent amount of time and decide he is worthy of meeting my kids.
Oddly R and GG both offered to do things with the kids if it made it easier on me. Nice, but NOT going to happen!
ok, but why doesnt he move his tool box to his house? LOL. To me its just a way for them to always have a foot in our new lives...
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
Well when he left, and the day he arranged to get his stuff, I made it very clear, whatever he didnt take, he wouldnt be getting. I mean pretty much every thing he had left, was considered abandoned property by ks laws.....and I meant it! and it felt GOOD lol!
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
Why should you tell them together? I came over the night after I moved out and told them I wasn't living there -- then I had to leave while STBXW comforted them.
I was leaning towards telling STBXW that she needed to tell them since this was her decision -- or if we do it together, we do it at my place so she has to leave and I get to comfort them.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
I think when they are as young as they are it helps to have both parents there. I was in shock when I found out he filed, mostly numb for a bit and then just bawled. I would have preferred to not have been blindsided and had my kids find out another way.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
The counselor has suggested that we both be there if at all possible. That way we both know what was/was not said, what meesage was given to the kids. I know I do NOT want them being told that "mommy and daddy couldn't get along"...that is BS!
Sydney already said once that daddy left bc we argued when we lived together...that may be the final result but was definitely not the cause...
Anyway I think we will be chatting later this evening, I am sure he will not like it and would not be surprised if he got angry bc he lives through avoidance of any/all issues whenever possible! Oh well, it is kind of weird that we haven't told the kids...I think we need to even though I hate to actually say it out loud...
