What should I do about potential OM?

[pearlharbr]

Is infidelity a deal breaker for you? Because your W is definitely engaged in an EA. Do not think that it's not as serious because it's not a PA--for women especially an EA is just as, if not more, powerful than a PA.

Do you live in a fault state for D? If so, then you need to discuss this with a L before deciding when to confront.

There are two main trains of thought here regarding dealing with infidelity: strict DBing by ignoring the affair and attracting your W back by being the better option OR showing tough love and actively working to bust the A. In my personal experience the former did not work and caused me much pain and suffering, the latter did work.

First you need to decide what you want, then decide how to go about getting it.