WAW Using God II

[pigskin]

Journaling:

Meeting with my pastor went well. I basically was looking to get 3 things out of it:

1. Disclose to him a couple of actions by my W that serve to cause me discouragement - namely meeting with the OM on the day of her baptism, and also attempting to get her parents to meet the OM while her and him were in their city attending a concert. This meeting never panned out as my father in law was unavailable and my MIL didn't want to be the only one there when my W stopped by.

My pastor called both of these things red flags.

2. How will I know if God is telling me to call it quits? Pastor called this a tough question, which I know it is. He basically said when it is time, you will know. Most likely in the absence of hope on my part. God can communicate to us through our feelings.

3. What is the church's guidance on divorce and what do I do next when/if our situation gets there? Pastor said the church allows for divorce, but considers you to be still married unless you get an annulment, the process of which generally takes a year, and does not commence until the civil divorce is final. I asked about dating and he basically implied that by the book you consider yourself married until the annulment comes through. Mainly so you don't find yourself in a committed relationship and then find out later your annulment is denied.

Pastor said in his 27 years as a priest he has never had an annulment in which he was involved fail to be accepted. He gave encouraging signals that my case would have a good chance, based on patterns of behavior from my W throughout our marriage (she has admitted to finding herself getting too close to other men at work on at least 2 other occasions, and broke contact before it stepped over the line).

All in all the general feeling I get from him is that while he admires me for what I am doing, even saying I am a "model" for what to do, he doesn't see much to be encouraged about with our situation. He did not say that, but he said things to make sure I know that he felt I had done all that could be asked for, and that I should have no regrets about not doing enough.

He knows the pastor at my W's church, and said that pastor is not afraid to confront anyone about unacceptable behavior. So giving that a chance is a good thing.

He also said to pray on the decision I face, and for guidance as to where I draw the line on my patience. God will reach me in a way that will make things clear.

What is clear is that while my pastor stated that he does not want anything he is saying to push me toward the direction of divorce, he would not have an issue with it.