Thanks everyone for all of your responses. I did parts of the pool myself with help from a friend last year but this is a different issue, so that's why I didn't know what to do. Fixer went through a MLC so I figured being a man he would know what I should do....as far as how H would feel about me asking a simple question. And Fixer said he would have liked it, it makes a man feel important.
The problem is that I have very very little money so I don't want to spend it on sand if I don't need it and also 25 if I had the money I would call a DB coach right now, or would have in the beginning of this mess.
And no, I didn't skim over your thread. I read everyone's responses. I understand what you are all saying and what I need to do, and believe me I know all about D. I was married once before, but didn't try to save it due to he had drug problems big time. And yes it hurt and I had all these feelings of sadness, but I wasn't going through a clinical depression either because of the D.
I'm in a depression now myself, so it does make it hard to detach and to stop spinning and so on. I don't like feeling like this at all! And believe me I know that I've been stuck too long. If anyone has gone through a depression they know that you just don't snap out of it.
