The saga continues. Don't ask me how this can go on so long. My patience is all but eroded.
No sexual relations since last june. No intimacy whatsoever since last june. Not even the pretense, not even for show for the kids. The kids aren't dumb and i suspect they suspect something because i see a wall there where they will not discuss anything.
W pretends. And keeps going along. Suspected EA's? Maybe one sided at best. She's up and down. There and not there.
I am completely emotionally detached from the possibilities. I just don't give a flying you know what anymore. I am tired. So tired of this bull. My wife is so detached and emotionally unavailable. At times still so unhappy and unwilling to communicate whatsoever. I do not know how to help her. There will be one last attempt to go all out and do something different for 'me' but perhaps for her as well. Giving her space has not done a thing. She has not done anything with it. I will sacrifice and change once more as i have sacrificed but this is the final straw. After this there is nothing left for us and she will get a jolt because i will be the walkaway spouse.
This is almost a decade in the making. If it weren't for the kids i'd be gone long ago. Just frustrated beyond belief. Its hard when a marriage is so one sided.
Forgive the rant.
It's not a rant and you have invested so much time and energy into this I'm going to ask you to try something you haven't tried.
Sit her down, tell her that since she doesn't want to have sex with you anymore that you are going to start seeing someone you just met for the purposes of a sexual only relationship. You will maintain appearances for your children while you both live in that home but you just don't want to wait for her to come to her senses anymore and you didn't get married to become an asexual monk. Tell her that this is not just what you want, in the end it's what your wife wants too, she can't expect you to live without sex, that would be selfish of her and don't let her turn this around because she might try to do that and then thank her for being such a good friend and understanding that what you're doing isn't personal and then leave the room.
No long drawn out conversations, just make your point, you're not asking for her approval, in fact the opposite, you're making a decision and moving on with your life. It's ok, it's your life, the only one you get to live and it's time you started doing this.
If she has a problem with this then tell her it's time that you separated, ask her when she will move out of the home and then tell her when you guys should speak to the kids about this.
