That kind of rollercoaster has been my life in the last few months, so I can get that you must be in a lot of shock/pain/resentment/etc.
Look toward the positives...she kissed you, she spoke nice, she didn't leave (yet?) which means something did change, she recognizes your changes even if she believes it too late, and more. Focus on those.
By DC you mean mediation or counselling?
I'm guessing counselling...so to that be ready to: - listen to her better than the IC - look for 180s you have yet to do - offer hope - give her one thing that isn't a deal breaker for her to consider changing that could help you be better - be ready to accept (verbally) responsibility
I'm not saying be weak, I'm saying be vulnerable. Let her in to your heart and try to get into hers. That can rebuild connections.
If she ever gets up to it, Retrouvaille helped me feel love for my W (who I have never really loved...)
So she said no to the getaway...life goes on.
There isn't any other man in the picture, is there?
