Time for darkness.... (thread number 3)ears open

[timehealsall]

I just found out I cannot have the surgery until I see the neurologist... they cannot give anestesia until they find out why I am hacing seizures.

I am really sick and the seizure aura is there. I am going to the hospital. I feel really really bad and my mom had doctor appt for pacemaker

Gives cg thumbs up. Thanks for the reply u too t.h.a.

I have been seizuring more lately. Everyone keep dbing and don't give up

James, please take care of yourself.

Your body is telling you to chill out.

let us know how the appt goes.

hugs!

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Take good care of yourself, James. I"ll say a prayer for you.

Puppy

[james217]

Well here's an update. I went to eyedoctor. Felt really sick after mom dropped me off. I am still in e.r. I was unconscious for 2 hours. Waw is here. She has not keft my side. The nurse let me come outside to smoke a cigarette or two but they have been running a lot of tests on me. Testing my blood. My sugar I've have a cat scan and I'm waiting on the neurologist.

None of my other family has shown up waw called them. I'm hurt and disappointed. The doctor is really worried.


Waw said I had a seizure trying to walk to the e.r. and passed out I don't remember. But at least a lot of tests have been run

Waw was crying she went to get us something to eat. She said she almost lost me and all this other stuff.

My head hurts and everything is a blur. But I have to finish this cigarette and go back inside.

Thanks for the well wishes. I don't know when I'm going home or if they will let me tonight

[BobbiJo]

Do NOT rush home...let them keep you as long as they need you...let them do their job and treat you...take care.

[DaddyLongShanks]

Well here's an update. I went to eyedoctor. Felt really sick after mom dropped me off. I am still in e.r. I was unconscious for 2 hours. Waw is here. She has not keft my side. The nurse let me come outside to smoke a cigarette or two but they have been running a lot of tests on me. Testing my blood. My sugar I've have a cat scan and I'm waiting on the neurologist.

None of my other family has shown up waw called them. I'm hurt and disappointed. The doctor is really worried.


Waw said I had a seizure trying to walk to the e.r. and passed out I don't remember. But at least a lot of tests have been run

Waw was crying she went to get us something to eat. She said she almost lost me and all this other stuff.

My head hurts and everything is a blur. But I have to finish this cigarette and go back inside.

Thanks for the well wishes. I don't know when I'm going home or if they will let me tonight

James217,

For someone having seizures, what is the effect of stress on that person? Does it make it more likely to have a seizure? If so, you have been pretty much given advice how to drop your stress level down quite a bit - through the 180 & GAL process.

[james217]

Well they let me out of the hospital late last night. I called my father and he had taken his medicine and would not be able to come and get me. waw insisted I not try to go too far away from her so I checked into a motel near her place. She decided to stay and look after me. Then this morning she took me to her place and cooked me a meal. Just been talking and laughing. This is the first time I've been to her place. Well at least invited there. I found out I got the job today.


Last night I forgot to add that one of my friends (female) texted me to check on me and waw kept asking who it was and getting jealous. I couldn't believe it.

Thanks for all the replies and concerns. I have forms to fill out about insurance. So I can see the neurologist.

Can someone please tell me wth is going on? I have my guard up totally. We did ML several times. Sighs I backslid.

She has been talking a lot she said she saw me as vulnerable for the first time in a long time when I had the seizure

Dls yes seizures can be caused due to stress but I have diabetes and can have them from that as well. I have to get the insurance to get the medicine.

She is like totally weirding me out. Her bday is thos Friday and she does not want to celebrate it.

I'm totally confused but I'm taking this for what it is. No expectations and no hope because I don't want to r talk and push her away..

Any suggestions? Advice? I'm still a little cloduy headwise and I'm posting from my phone. My laptop is at home.

[timehealsall]

You have to continue worrying about you right now.

Stop worrying about WAW and what she's thinking or why she is doing what she is doing. If she wants to care for you, then so be it. but continue worrying about you and putting yourself first.

you need to continue doing 180s James. ESP now. She may have had a little snap of what it was like to not be with you, so take this opportunity to CONTINUE doing the 180s. DO NOT BACKSLIDE. You can push her away by doing that.

I can't believe what you've been through these last 36 hours. insane!

[robx]

yup,
- focus time on healing yourself, which means getting the necessary rest & recuperation.
- I'm happy to hear you got the job, file that under "positive achievements" category
- no R talk with your wife,
- no scripture talk with your wife, no word of God, nothing, that will be a 180 for you
- spend some time away from her, for your own good
- relax a bit
- when do you start work? find some time to shop for some work clothes, if it's an office environment is it smart casual, very formal, prepare for that
- stop mind reading your wife you will go crazy
- if she wants to do nice things for you, let her but don't read anything into it, you will, you always will because that's what you've shown us but I'm telling you not to, we'll see how you listen

Anything else?

yeah, did I mention, relax, rest & recuperate?

[timehealsall]

Oh yeah!! Congrats on the job!

[james217]

yup,
- focus time on healing yourself, which means getting the necessary rest & recuperation.
- I'm happy to hear you got the job, file that under "positive achievements" category
- no R talk with your wife,
- no scripture talk with your wife, no word of God, nothing, that will be a 180 for you
- spend some time away from her, for your own good
- relax a bit
- when do you start work? find some time to shop for some work clothes, if it's an office environment is it smart casual, very formal, prepare for that
- stop mind reading your wife you will go crazy
- if she wants to do nice things for you, let her but don't read anything into it, you will, you always will because that's what you've shown us but I'm telling you not to, we'll see how you listen

Anything else?

yeah, did I mention, relax, rest & recuperate?

I start work next Monday.

Yep I've been chilling out and she's warming to me. I was reading her bible while we were eating and she asked (shocked) what subject I was studying and it was about anger in ephesians so she asked to hear a few verses then I stopped and saidi would write then down and she could study them by herself. She smiled and said she appreciated that instead of trying to force my studies on her.

Then she started some r talk about why she was there for me and how although were not together right now she loves and cares and misses me. I validated didn't argued and listened. Whenever I felt it could lead to an argument I changed the subject to something light which would have us both laughing.

She said even though I was sick at the hospital I had her and the nurses joking and cracking up. She missed that as well.

We've just been relaxing and watching tv and talking and having fun. Its hard for me to get on here and post because she keeps asking me who I am texting.

She's been very loving and affectionate and I jokingly playfully commented on how affectionate she was and she said its because I haven't pushed her into anything. I've just been easy to be around and fun.

She has not smiled this way at me in a long long time. Our conversations are fun and I'm dbing my butt off.

I refuse to get sucked into a cheeseless tunnel and let the moments we r sharing be ruined so I'm just going with the flow and not being serious or talking about the past.

The one time she did bring it up I changed the subject again stating I just wanted to enjoy her company.

I have taken a little time to myself outside to smoke and text and post here and she ends up pursueing me coming to where I am.

Just taking it real slow and I probably won't call her when I leave here. I have to gal a life and stay busy because its obvious the job is attractive to her as well as me stopping the puppy dog act and feeling sorry for myself but I'm doing this for me.

Everytime I think about saying or doing something stupid words that my db friends have stated come to mind. Whether its c.g or pdt. Or rob. Or dls or bobbi or t.h.a or serenity. Gnosis. And all the others who have been consistently wacking me over the head for my own good and hanging in there with words of wisdom and the truth about the stuff I'm doing.

The job is casual and office so I'm good with clothes although ill get some more. Ill post more when I get home to the laptop because she just keeps asking what I'm doing and that I should be resting and spending time with her