The countdown continues

[Gardener]

Awoken,

I know this is a toxic, negative rant I'm on tonite.

Actually, I was thinking it all sounds quite understandable under the circumstances.

And re: the photos: everybody's different. Months ago, I sat in the garage and went through 4 large boxes of 17 years of photos. Painful. An admitted pity party. I then packed them up, stacked them up and taped a note to the top box telling the STBX, "I went through all of them. Thank you for having taken them (she was the photographer). Perhaps we should have looked at them and reminisced more together. Keep them or toss them as you see fit. I don't want any."

Too painful.

[flowmom]

I like how you reacted to the unexpected meeting. You set a healthy tone for your children. I hope that the upcoming work will feel like a positive distraction, though I understand how emotionally drained you must be feeling.

[Gardener]

Awoken

I like how you reacted to the unexpected meeting. You set a healthy tone for your children.

Ditto. The children are indeed lucky: they have one class-act parent.

[Awoken]

they have one class-act parent.

I wonder if I present just my best side here although I try to be as honest as I can. Lately it's been on my mind that I've been too protective, too involved. I can see how D17 is always trying to take care of me, even when I present my most positive face to her. In my last long conversation with W, she said that D17 was acting like my wife. It offended me deeply, but I didn't react to it.

I do know I'm doing my best; and that I'll continue to try to understand what is the right thing to do for my kids.

I worry the most about how this sitch is effecting them. Everyone's words of support here really do help!

[Awoken]

I like how you reacted to the unexpected meeting.

Thanks; I'm feeling so confused about where I am emotionally, I honestly don't know how I did. Surprising to me, I didn't care how it effected W, which I suppose is a step in the right direction.

I'm sure there will be many more chance meetings; and band banquets and other school functions, graduations, etc.

[Kimmie Lee]

Just keep being your cool, awesome self.

It will drive her nuts.

[Sister]

Yeah, what she said! ^

[Awoken]

Just keep being your cool, awesome self.

It will drive her nuts.

Yes, I'm cool. It surprises even me.

I know it's snarky, but I'm not sure she needs to be any more nuts!

[FindingMyVoice]

I know it's snarky, but I'm not sure she needs to be any more nuts!

LOL! No worries Awoken! You're entitled to be a little snarky!

[Awoken]

W sent me a couple of emails this morning saying she is thought we were trying to work together, but she is surprised at all the differences in our counter offer. She is making no sense. We basically agreed with what she asked for, and asked that we pay off the equity line on the house early so that I could refi the house while rates are low. If that's what she is objecting to, I hardly understand.

Then to cap it off, she says she will not be rushed into this!
We had a deadline with the court yesterday to either schedule mediate or reach an agreement. It's been four months since she filed for divorce. I don't really think she is being rushed. After all, she is getting what she wants!

We are having a disagreement about custody over the july 4th holiday. I don't know why, according the agreement we've both basically already agreed to, it would be my turn anyway. She just had both kids for a entire week for spring break. It's frustrating.

Ok, I don't understand her level of anger at me, or the fact that I'm so cool in accepting the situation. I talked to a relative yesterday, and they said "you sound good!". I do feel good, even ok with this. I still don't believe divorce is the solution for problems in a marriage. It just feels like crazy times.