Maybe I didn't blow it?

[soleil]

I don't really know how to deal with how angry she is at me. I have been just listening and validating and telling her I understand why she feels that way.

That's the best way to handle it.

I'm hoping that staying consistent with my actions and with her will help the anger pass.

This is spot on. Hot and cold is not going to make her feel secure with you so you need to be consistent.