Wife wants best of both worlds

[dwinter82]

Nik, it is not to intense but it is pretty long.

[MHL]

Hey DW,
Wanted to hit you back from my thread. I am going to get up that way eventually, got some good friends in Batesville, IN, probably not too much further to check out the arch. We'll throw back some Coronas put on Mr. Marley and chill.

I kinda been forcing myself into a PMA lately, it works. I feel more like the old me. Easier said then done but once you are doing it and you get yourself in that happy place you do whatever you can to stay there.

3 days until Little Friday, BTW the guy who started Little Friday lives in Batesville, IN. I may start a FB page, who knows?????

[Kemper]

I have been trying to catch up on your thread and it has taken me this long. I see based on your sig that you are divorced but nothing in here about it unless you moved areas.

This is going to sound like a stupid question but a bunch of pages back you made the comment about it might be easier on you and you xW if you were divorced. Do you feel that way as well now that it is official?

[dwinter82]

Kemper, you are not supossed to remember when I say such things...lol.

To be honest I am not sure. I am in a better place but I think that is more related to time and acclimating to the sitch. The ex and I seem to be arguing more, but not about us. More about the kid's schedule and other stupid logisitical stuff. I think over time we will be friends but that will not happen until I can forgive and forget...hopefully. It is nice not having to talk about the D and dealing with the L.

Thanks for checking in.

[MHL]

DW,
I have been off the boards awhile and we missed each other that day we spoke. I hope the kids were okay, sounded like someone was unhappy. How are the kids doing? Have you moved to the dating scene yet? Is that something you have considered?

[dwinter82]

Hey MSH, thanks for checking in. Right when you called I closed the door on my D6's finger...she was not a happy camper.

Dating is always an option but it is really not a priority at this point. Although I am doing better, emotionally I am still caring some baggage and women at pour age pick up on that immediately.

I guess I need to change threads since I am now officially D...bummer! The ex sent me an email yesterday asking if I could watch the kids for a week while she goes on a cruise with the OM. She is certainly not wasting anytime moving on with her new life. Of course I said yes, but it has caused some emotional impact.

The weather is St. Louis is beautiful and I am going out tonight with some friends to listen to a band...this should help. I also have the kids this weekend and I always feel so much better when they are around.

How are you doing? More positive signs?

[MHL]

Ouch, on your D's finger, hope she is okay.

Understand on the dating thing, time will take care of that baggage for you.

I wouldn't necessarily change forums, stay where everyone you know can find you. As far as her vacation plans, I guess this stuff is going to come up and unfortunately time will dull the impact.

Yeah, the kids do help with making me feel better also, my kids are with my mom in FLA for 5 days and while it is a break for me, I still miss them.

Our weather here is nice also, I am tackling a bunch of projects tomorrow around the house. Heading out tonight to a Bday party with friends, should be good. The positives are still coming, but I still have to find patience in waiting for the next positive sign, but I would say things are moving in the right direction. I am just trying to give her time and space. I went on a date with her last Friday and it was good but I still experience pain afterwards just doesn't last long and it is not as intense.

[ClingingToHope]

DW, that cruise thing would be hard. My STBXW is going to Sturgis in August for some big motorcycle thing with her best friend. A bunch of her best friend's townie buddies go to it every year.

I'm hoping we're actually divorced by the time it happens because I think it would be better for me mentally if she was an exwife acting like an idiot.

At least she didn't put me in a position to cover for her so she could go. The girls are going to stay with the MIL for a week and I may go see them one night.

That actually is going to be funny. The last time MIL had both of them for more than a day was our 10th anniversary when we spent three days in Vegas. D7 is a lot more difficult to handle now.

I admire how you are handling things with the Ex. I still haven't found any proof of an OM and that's a shoe that will really hurt when it drops some day.

[dwinter82]

CTH, thanks for checking in. The cruise thing is hard but it does reinforce the reality of the sitch and is helping me move on. The thing that really sucks is the kids are under the impression they are going. Last night they asked me where we are going on our vacation. I did not have the heart to tell them and plan to leave that up to the ex.

[Cie la vie]

DW,

Man this cruise thing is addiing insult to injury. I know you'll handle it well but I feel for you. Your sitch seems to be three to six months ahead of mine and I'm learning from yours as things move forward.

The OM intro is coming down the pike for me sooner rather than later, and if my STBX has any vacation time forthcoming with her new job I'm confident I'll have some kind vacation BS to deal with as well.

Again the kids just make all of this way more complicated and troubling. I agonize over how it could and in all likelihood will negatively affect them. Yet it seems to me that our respective X's don't factor that into any of their decisions. Or they are just to blinded by the so called fog of their new relationships to recognize what they are doing or care.

Outside of the kid factor I'm doing quite well. I still find myself occasionally dwelling on how sad the whole mess is but the roller coaster ride is definitely smoothing out. Anyway hang tough and good luck. I'll be checking in to see how you are doing.