I'm here, guys. Thanks for some new people for saying something! And thanks for the ones I already know, too.
Yes, I did sleep well last night and I woke up fairly happy. But then in the shower I started getting mad again. . . I just have a lot of anger, I guess!
I haven't said anything to the ILs yet. His sister called last night to see how things went with her parents yesterday, but I didn't answer and didn't call back because I don't know how I want to work things yet.
It seems to me like I'm sort of at the point of choosing his family or choosing him. Choosing the family means trying to maintain a relationship with them, which to me means saying what I feel. (I'll always love them, I won't create drama.) Choosing him means staying silent so that I can implicitly agree that I have sooooooo much to work on (I'm being sarcastic here, sorry) and I can wait for him to come back over and pick me up.
I guess I really believe that if at some point he really wanted me back he'd go through whatever to get to me. And that is sort of what I require. So I don't think it will happen, and I am letting it all go.
So I guess I'm leaning towards choosing his family. They've been with me through this pregnancy and plan to help out a lot when the baby arrives. So that means that I'd want to clear the air and say that I'm hurt, etc. Then they'll reassure me, and then I'll say I'm done talking about WH with them forever, and then that will be it. And I do think I want to say it face-to-face. I like writing way too much and saying things in person is a bit of a challenge. So I want to do it.
One thing I think is funny is this idea of "working on myself." For his family, that means me becoming more dependent upon people. For me, it means drawing boundaries with the people around me because I give too much. So we can agree that I'll be "working on myself" but the outcome will be so different!
Ha ha, this is how my WH works, too. Finding common language and running with it even when you mean different things. Yes, SwissMiss (cute name, BTW!), spin doctors!! That is totally my WH. So can I trust a spin doctor after all the crap he's done? No.
Ok, so those are my thoughts right now. I need to catch up on other threads. I'll probably do that at work.
me, 30 WH, 29 D born June 2010 M: July 2001 Bomb/S: 1/14/10 Done with it all.
