8 weeks until D Day!!

[goldfiber]

To early to give up, wait until the ink is dry. I think I have found you. Don't give up. Just stay detached.

[lea74]

Hi G. Well it is finally and truly over. Last nite H and I had the worst fight ever. I am very embarrassed to say that I said some really mean and hurtful things. I really lived up to the expression 'crazy ex-wife'.

My H has my sons for a few days and I found out again that they are staying at the OW house. I just saw red (I am like a bull when it comes to protecting my kids). It was really my lowest point. Also, my H said something about OW that confirms that this is a long term thing and I would even go so far as to say he is in love with her.

I am at a point now, where I just want this over and want to get on with my life. The man he is now is not the man I married and also is really not being a good role model for his sons.

Thank you again so much for all your support, input and advise. I see no reason for me to continue to visit this forum. I wish you all the best and realy hope that things work out for you. I hope your W can see what a wonderful man she is loosing.

((( ))))

[LSG]

Hi lea74,

I think there is still alot to be gained from this forum with the advice that have had and the new friend you meet. Maybe staying a little longer could help you find a way to end this once and for all and find the closure you are seeking. You may be divorced, but it will that time for it to be over it seems.

As everyone says just take it one moment, one step, and one day at a time.

I hope you find lasting piece and happiness!!!

[goldfiber]

Lea, I am so sorry. If you go back and read my thread, I had a really bad argument with W. Afterwards, I felt like you, no need to continue coming to this site, I thanked everyone and gave my goodbyes. I was SURE it was over, 4 months later, we are still M, the process continues on and my faith has been renewed.

Your M is not over, you have done damaged, but it's not over!! I can not stressed enough how important it is for you to detach and go into NC. Where would things be without your outbursts?

I know you want to protect your sons. Your H knows your feelings on this matter, yet he continues. The boys will be ok, she can NEVER replace you in their lives, NEVER! Yes, it may look like your H loves OW, but she is just a mask for his pain, the actions he has taken.

What do you do now? Let me ask you this, do you want to save your marriage and yourself? Was this conflict your fault? Then I suggest you call him, stay in control, and apologize. Offer no explanation cause he knows why you said what you said. Just give a sincere apology and end the conversation. This is for YOU, not him. Afterwards go into NC and stay there. Understand that he is in pain too and needs your outbursts to justify his actions. Force him to carry this D alone and get no ammunition from you.

I am still with you and your family says the LORD. Don't give up, trust HIM!

[lea74]

Hi G, hope you are doing well.

Well things are now well and truly over. After chatting to my sons they both indicated that they are not ready yet to include a friday nite in their overnite stay with my H. I had to communicate this to my H which he understandably was not happy about. He came over this evening to drop of something and started to discuss it. I kept trying to put off the topic and tell him I didnt want to discuss it around our sons. He start getting verbally angry with me so I let it go. He then was leaving so I tried to smooth things over, which only got worse. I did however do better than I normally do. He then got really angry and unbelievably spat in my face!! I have never had any one do that to me - I was absolute horrified and humilated. I think he realised what he did as he said he should never have done that. I just told him to leave. At first he didnt so I just walked away.

I feel so low now, as I cant believe that he did that. I have never had that happen to me.

I was actually going to suggest that perhaps we get together and disccus finances etc. After his behaviour tonite I dont want to go anywhere near him. Of all the things he has done that was the worst!!!

[flowmom]

Hugs Lea. That is despicable behaviour.

[lea74]

Flo, I can honestly say I feel empty now. I feel absolutely awful that he could treat me this way.

My wonderful, caring H is now gone forever!!! I never in my wildness dreams thought he would do that to me.

[LSG]

Hi lea74,

That to me is probably the worst thing another human being can do to you. He actually spat in your face. That could be the breaking point for me if my wife ever did that. I just find that irreprehensible behavior.

Take care of yourself and be careful because he seems very unstable to me.

I wish you the best!!!

[lea74]

Hi LSG, thanks for your input. Yeah - it is a breaking point for me. Thankfully he doesnt have great aim and it hit my shoulder, but the intention was there - I shudder just thinking about it.

I keep seeing him doing it over and over again and I am still shocked. The fact that he looked me in the face with absolute disgust and then spat at me - how much lower can a person get.

It has made me feel absolutely shameful that someone could think so little of me to spit on my like a dog. I realise that there is probably worse behaviour but for me this is the worst he has ever done.

[Gardener]

lea,

I realise that there is probably worse behaviour but for me this is the worst he has ever done.

The fact that there is worse behavior does not minimize this sub-human act and treatment of you at all! I sincerely hope you do not wait to see how such "worse behaviour" might manifest itself.
This may be "the worst he has ever done," but you should set boundaries or take concrete steps to ensure this is the last he ever does!
(((lea)))