Have you considered letting her calls go to voicemail once in a while?
I chuckled when I read this, I already let a third of W calls go to voicemail, this goes to 100% when she goes through a phase of wanting to argue on the phone. It takes the sting out of her wanting to slam the phone down on me. I've actually told her in the past slam the phone down on me and all you'll get is voicemail.
Lanzo
Ha Ha, I had to laugh again I've just re read the part of my post you were refering to. Car Trouble
Supposed to be on a new road for 2010 but I keep getting dragged onto that old track.
Latest spat, W not talking to me (Nothing new there).
For the past 5 – 6 years W been telling me that this Valentines business is a load of nonsense and just a commercial money spinner for the shops, so she hasn’t bother with any romantic gestures through that time, even though I had. So this year I wasn’t expecting anything different, and had planned to go out to visit relatives on evening of the 13th. W was peeved when I went out and has not spoken to me since, she had actually bought me a single rose and a card, I think the card ended in the bin.
Now in this instance I know I messed up valentines, but W seems prepared to push us out on a limb over one incident, instead of just having a go at me for being insensitive and then getting on with things.
Most likely this sulk will last until next week when there’s a family christening where W will want to present a united family front to the world.
Anyway I’ve given up chasing her tail, I’ve got more pressing things to attend to like helping D8 improve her maths, she bottom of the class at the moment and I can’t let it stay that way.
I’m still here on these boards every day reading up on various friends, Kalni, Bobbijo, CL, Dr Love. sometimes Kerry, sometimes John. I don’t post now as I’m not making any effort at all with W or my M following on from details in my last post. I think I read K say that my situation was complicated again, well I think I’ve simplified it, I’ve told W she can **** off with whichever of her friends she wants to. So we are in the same house, we avoid being in the same room as each other and only we only communicate if it relates to D8. At the moment I wouldn’t have it any other way.
That being said I spend a lot of with D8 who is growing into a fantastic young lady, and she is the very thing that keeps me going. The only downside is that she grows to look more and more like W and has picked up some of her annoying mannerism, and habits but I think I can deal with that.
I’ve been on DB nearly 3 years now and through my sitch and reading that of others I can see, hear and smell BS, and W has been BS’ing me in her efforts to piece our M together. A person can twist and turn and put in their best efforts, but if the other party is not interested then there is no chance. So at the moment I have 2 chances, “No” and “slim” and I think slim has just left the building.
I’m still here on DB reading and learning (yes still learning) , still smiling, still working on some personal goals, still being a super Dad, and a Great Uncle. If anyone wants to hear from me shout and I’ll respond but I’m not doing any daily post or regular updates.
Finally, K, I’m so glad things have turned around for you, you are the model of DB that we should all aspire to, and some of the things in your sitch have been so relevant and useful for me, and have helped me in deciding on which road to take for 2010. So you keep up the efforts and I’ll keep reading.
It's really nice to hear from you. I am sorry things have not improved for you. You actually sound like when I was piecing just prior to when I decided to leave. All our sitches are unique yet there seems to be some similarities as well. I always admired your patience and you continue to display it. As long as you are enjoying your daughter and being a great dad, I would imagine that she is what is keeping you at home. I know how you feel. That kept me at home for the longest time. I hope you continue to post Lan....
Sorry to hear the way your sitch is but hey I have been there. Glad at least you are a little at peace with yourself. Be there for your D. My son is 13 and I am already starting to see his "independence" Every opertunity I have to do something with him I jump on becasue I know pretty soon Old Dad is going to be a drag to hang around..... Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I think John is correct about both of your situations being similar. John had some others critique him that he was cynical, but who cannot be in such a loveless lifestyle. I do like it when Kalni calls him a pig in a joking manner.
I am guessing that the reason you are still married is primarily for your daughter and then because of the financial setbacks caused by a divorce. As long as you and D8 are happy, that is what matters. I am kind of at that stage now, but I am free to date when time permits. Eventually, you may desire the loving companionship of a dedicated woman if your W does not ever get out of her MLC or hormone induced selfishness.
My XW's parents were secretly divorced but still living together. Probably for the kids sake and also to "save face" for him in Thai society as I am sure he would not have wanted others to know he was a cheater. Just this evening, I met my ex mother in law who I had not seen for several year. She gave me a hug and various gifts (including gold) from Thailand. Unlike many others, my mother in law is such a nice lady and I did miss seeing her the last few years.
My nephew just moved this last week with his new British wife from RAF Lakenheath to a Langley Air Force base in Virginia. I am enjoying looking at her FB pictures she took as she was getting acquanted to new surroundings in a new country. One of the first things she noticed was that she cant watch Eastenders anymore.
Hey Lan, What can I say? You've tried so hard, there isnt anything else you could have done. If she wakes up, fine, if not, you will see hwta you will do.
Thanks for the support. Thanks for the wishes. Thanks for everything!! If I make it to Ali's wedding, I will make a stop in London, that's where you are, cant remember? We can go eat some fish and chips!! LOL K
You actually sound like when I was piecing just prior to when I decided to leave. As long as you are enjoying your daughter and being a great dad, I would imagine that she is what is keeping you at home.
Correct
Originally Posted By: DrLove
Glad at least you are a little at peace with yourself.
Thank you
Originally Posted By: KerryK
I am guessing that the reason you are still married is primarily for your daughter and then because of the financial setbacks caused by a divorce. As long as you and D8 are happy, that is what matters.
Spot on
Originally Posted By: Kalni
If she wakes up, fine, if not, you will see how you will do.
Sorry to hear the situation you are in, but I know you choose to stay for your D8 and other reasons that make it doable for you. I know for me it was hard when my exH was still living with me but not remotely interested in a true reconciliation. Kudos to you for being able to handle that type of situation.
I am glad your D is growing into a lovely young lady, I am sure you had more than a little bit to contribute to that! My own S7 is looking more like his father every day, which is good, as long as his behaviors don't take after him!
