I never received D papers because I was the one to file. Lawyers fill it out in boilerplate fashion asking for everything. Mine had me as having 100% custody, and my W, who makes 8 times less than myself, was to pay me child support. My L also filed a protective restraining order to keep the status quo so that she could not move the kids out of the house (which she no longer lived in). I will says that as the petitioner, one does have some advantage initially since the respondent starts out on the defensive. But D proceedings take quite a bit of time for a good reason.
I tried to let her know before she received the petition that I was willing to negotiate and divide things equally. However, she literally had a cow when she read the legal D petition. After some time, she realized I was a fair guy.
Dont let the legal stuff get to you. It is ridiculous at the start. Do as Bworl advises and pick your battles carefully. Remain strong and dont compromise your values, but also go forth such that you are not an a$$hole.
