The dreaded LIMBO

[june72]

I feel really strongly that the marriagebuilders site would have some great input regarding the OW child sitch. I think there are few here that I know of dealing with that.
I think you should be very, very dark and let him prove himself. Otherwise in the future I think you will have doubts and worries. He has to find a way out of his mess and show on his own that he wants to really work on changing.
Therefore, I would be extremely worried if you decided to move back to his area. He drove you away with his behavior (don't forget his teasing you about OW...). If he wants to get back into your heart- I think ON HIS OWN he should move back to you. Only a person that is desperate to get back what they have lost would move heaven and earth....
His actions should really show you- he will be a great talker- I am assuming. All sorts of nonsense on how he feels, etc. I think that if he sucks you back in- he may change back to his old ways.


So I hate to say it but extremely dark, IMO and wait a long time. If he is committed to you- he will be several months later. I am concerned that a few days after the OW dumps him he suddenly has a renewed interest in you....

Oh, and if he asks what he can do to go back with you. I would say something like seek serious counseling and write me a letter on how you are going to make amends. I think if you tell him what to do. He will do it and then not be genuine and later may turn it on you. "Well-you told me I had to do this but I didn't want to" If he goes to counseling I am sure an good counselor would tell him how to make amends... it's his job to figure out. You can point him in the right direction but he has to lead with this not you, IMO....