Well today and tomorrow are days of facing consequences. I'm going into the field with a client tomorrow. It's the first field day that I've had in almost two years and it's a rare opportunity to connect with him and demonstrate my professionalism. I haven't been feeling confident in my field skills, because they are "use it or lose it" skills unfortunately.
Instead of chipping away at the prep work and doing extra work to go into the situation confident and prepared, I've self-sabotaged and left most of it until that last minute. That means a late night and not being as prepared as I want to. To top it all off I have something starting in my throat and not enough sleep may mean being tired AND sick when I have to go out tomorrow.
My default feeling in this kind of situation is deep shame. My sister asked me to show compassion for myself and be more ruthless about how I manage my time today. I hate that I cause these crises for myself. I really want to learn how to be on my own side and act for my own good.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
It will be like riding a bike- fake it til you make it (your confidence), get more info than you need! You will do better than you think-
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Tell yourself the opposite story of what will happen tomorrow. PMA. You will wow client because you care and because you know your stuff. If you're at 85 percent, you'll be at 99 percent next time. One is a B. The other is an A. Neither are shabby. YOU CAN DO IT! I would hire you. Belief is destiny. Putting off the prep isn't nearly that bad. Telling yourself it will cause something awful is self fulfilling prophesy. You will be prepped enough and drink some coffee if you have to and make it happpen. It will be fun and you will leave it feeling more confident than when you went in.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
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