W still has bf. I see other people. I guess if we really decide to try, these others would have to be out of the picture. I don't think our true feelings for each other will really show when their are other people in our lives.
I don't think we are their yet. She is familiar with this board and with Retro. If that is ever a consideration in the future, she knows it will have to be just us with no 3rd party's involved when we attend.
I know that nobody really says anything about retro, but I have heard that at the very least you should be able to get closure. Anyone that has attended that would agree with this?
I attended and I was really ready for a D, but hoping for love to grow.
Others have had different experiences. Why not check out this thread Retrou Thread
TBLs wife was in an affair, but he managed to turn things around. Now, that is with a lot of change/reexamining on his part. For me, the first time I ever felt real love my W was after the weekend. That love didn't solve the other problems we had, but it gave me the motivation to keep trying (on most days...!)
Well might have GAL too much last nite. local bar had hot oil wrestling and i just couldn't resist. me and my buddy shared a couple of pitchers of beer. He drove me back to my truck which was a couple miles from home (when we left i told him maybe he should just take me home.) Well got pulled over 200' from my driveway and got a fricken dwi. Unreal my stupidity. I usually am very good at laying low and sobering up before i drive, but i totally lost track of time and made a really poor judgement. Well W came to get me out of the clink, my first ever issue with the law so i hope they take it easy on me. We had a nice talk and she really showed how much she cares for me still. She was shaking and scared and was very happy that i was o.k.
Anyways i told her i had a lot of time to think and that i want to know which way we are heading. I said i am ready to give love another try. Either with her or someone else. If we are going to try she will have to quit her job (because of om) and I need her to be an open book in order to build back trust. I said if you don't want to work on us that is fine, but i need the divorce done then so I can have a real relationship with someone else.
She said she is going to do some real thinking and make a decision for us soon. This is what we have going for us as i see it. We still love and care for each other. We have taken a lot of time to really work on ourselves. I still have a small fire of desire for her. We both see each other as physically attractive. She doesn't really feel anything for me, but she is "in love" with her bf.
I was told once that you don't feel healthy and then go running, you go running and then feel healthy. The same thing goes for the "in love feelings". First you have to really give the love before you can feel it. Don't know what to say. Just enjoying myself even with all this b.s. in my life.
well W is going to make a decision soon on where we head. She knows I still love her and that giving each other our best and then deciding if it is enough would be my first option. She also knows that I refuse to be 2nd choice and that i'm not waiting around to see if her and her affair partner work out. She has all my criteria down for what i need in order to try and reconcile, but she also knows that their is no pressure either way. We shall see what the future looks like very shortly.
I did lose it a little bit this week on W. Her Affair never really did bother me that much. now that she is having 2nd thoughts, It did start to strike a cord with me. I told her that is why you don't find someone better and then try to end a marriage. If she wasn't in love with someone else she would have no reason not to try retrovialle or MC. I said that is BS for me and for the kids. Then I said if she can't pull the trigger and File I will, I will not be anyone's second choice.
I talked to her later and she has told OM that she needs space to really figure out what she wants to do. If that's the case, I do have some patience again.
