He's out. He left a little while ago. he took all that time to pack. He made a huge production out of it, telling me not to throw his stuff out, telling me how much he hated me & how he was never coming back. he said that he wasn't ever coming back--of course the kids took that to mean that they are never going to see him again. He means that he won't come here to pick them up. he's just hateful. This all could have been done in private, away from the kids. I will never understand why he drags them into the middle of every fight.
My head is killing me.
I was doing okay, really okay for a little while. I think it's so long coming that it's almost a relief. The total shocker was when I called my mother to tell her that he was leaving & she started yelling at me. She retired last year to "help me", my father just retired, they live five minutes away. but it's too much for her to come over & help me so I can keep my job. I leave for work at 4:20am, I get home at 6pm. it's too inconvenient for her to get up to help me. I'm supposed to stay in a miserable marriage with a miserable man because it's too much work for her.
I can handle this being over--I'm more upset that I'm literally been abandoned by the one person in the world i thought i could count on. i feel like I'm giving everything I have to everyone & I get nothing back in return because I just surrounded by selfish, thoughtless people who care about themselves more than they do me OR my kids. it's just over the top. I can barely wrap my brain around it.
I called my MIL as soon as H left. I wanted to tell her what was going on before he got there & twisted it all around. H was married before to a woman who took his SS away from the family. It doesn't sound like *that* big of a deal, except she was 15 when she had the baby (not H's baby), and moved into his mom's house when the baby was 6 weeks old because her own mother threw her out. H married her five years later when he got out of the navy because he felt that SS needed a father. So when she left, SS was 9 & H's parents had practically raised this child. They never saw him again & it was heartbreaking. I met H at the tail end of all of that mess, so I saw how devastated they were.
I called to tell her what was going on, that H was most likely on his way there & to say that I would never, ever keep the kids from them or from H. She made a comment about us not liking each other anymore and I told her that I actually still loved the man I married, I just don't know who this man is anymore. (And I really do miss the man I married.) She said, "...I know. He's changed so much. I think everything has just gotten to him." I started to cry, because in a strange way it makes me feel better to to know that it's not just me. Even his own mother sees that he's changed. Maybe she can talk some sense into him when it comes to not being a jerk about the kids.
My head is seriously throbbing. I think it might be time for a shower & some sleep. I really hope I can sleep.
i'm so tired.
Last edited by shelbel; 04/20/1001:43 AM. Reason: used a censored word. oops
formerly known as "shelbel" Me 40, stbxh 40 DSs 9, 7 & 3 M9, T10 Stbxh is a diagnosed bipolar & an addict. The end.
