Gosh, CW, this sounds very similar to where I am with my H. I, too, have noticed the increasing distance as I've detached more. Although it's helped me a great deal, I've wondered lately if I should try to encourage a bit more contact just to change it up. The problem is that I really haven't been able to find any credible reason to see H, or even call him. Our Ds are grown and live elsewhere. H hasn't done anything around the house for years, preferring to hire things out. Because his work often took him out of town, I learned to handle most everything on my own anyway, and have always been independent and capable. We communicate via email about finances, and dog custody when I have to travel. That's about it.
H is feeling some consequences though, I think. I suspect that the cost of his rental house bothers him -- like $$ down a rat hole, as he always said. His relationship with his Ds is very strained. I know that holidays are hard for him when I arrange to be with Ds and he is alone.
I don't know. My situation is so stagnant, but my gut just says to still give him space. Perhaps something will happen to shake things up, who knows? I guess I'll just keep moving forward on the path I'm on until a different one presents itself. Patience...
M 65 H 64 T 39 & M 36 @ S 12/08 Two Ds
Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. ~ The Weather Man
