I think the gym is a great idea! Congratulations! Exercise has helped me a lot. Staying busy helps a lot.
I like your friend's advice. Sounds like you have some good support for helping you refocus on self and trying to have some fun while this dumb situation spins out. I'm sure the pug business is very sad. Maybe he should get some extra walks or treats! Hope this week is easier.
I have made it my goal this week to join a gym and begin doing something more positive with my time than thinking about my husband being an alien.
That sounds good. And it doesn't all have to be out-of-the-house stuff. Do you have any hobbies you've been neglecting? New hobbies to pursue? Books you'd like to read?
It will become easier to detach as time goes on.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
I do have some books I would like to read. There is always yard work to do also. The h sent a text today appologizing for coming over last night and falling asleep. WTF? I can't even really care what he has to say right now. Because everything is a LIE!
M 35, husband 35 M 10 Limbo 9/2009-12/2010 he left for his moms and came home way to many times to count Home 12/2010-present
Me: 45 WAW: 45 | M22 | T25 | No Kids Nov 09 W Filed | Dec 09 Separation Mar 17 2010 Divorce Papers Signed | Divorce Hearing Cancelled Moved back home May 2010 PA Confirmed June 2010 | W left Dec 7 2010
The h sent a text today appologizing for coming over last night and falling asleep. WTF? I can't even really care what he has to say right now. Because everything is a LIE!
But it was nice that he apologized; he didn't even have to do that.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
I understand your pug issue...just think about that with a 2 yr old and you have my life.
It is good that H did apologize. One of the things to work on for yourself is forgiveness. Does it stink that he fell asleep at the house? Yes. Is it even worse that he left before you woke up? Yes, but as trent said. He didn't have to apologize and the other thing to think about is that he is so comfortable at home that he fell right to sleep. Take this as a good thing and not a bad. He feels safe enough in your house to go straight to sleep. Yeah it stinks, but that is his problem. He missed out on time with you and let you know that by apologizing.
Stick to what you are doing right now. Work on you. Try to not focus on him and OW (believe me I know how hard that is to do), but once you do, it will get easier and easier. You will have harder days than others, but you will get better all the time.
Hang in there because you really are headed in a good direction. Also make sure you are reading up on how to talk to depressed people so when H is ready you are ready with how to approach the subject and help him help himself. He may not know what to do, but if you have suggestions ready it will make it better.
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
I was actually very surprised he appologized....maybe he does have some morals left! Awest it really is truly sad how excited the dog gets when the h comes over and to see him sitting and staring at the door just waiting and hoping. However, he is a dog and is easily cheered up with a meat treat. I have certainly become very lazy about his treat quantity and he is a little heavier than normal. I cannot imagine how you do it with a two year old...you can't give your son a treat to make it better of help him forget. I truly have so much respect for you for trying with all your heart for the sake of your son. He deserves nothing but the best...
It does seemed my h is coming around a little tiny bit. I haven't heard the d word for at least a week. Knock on wood!
M 35, husband 35 M 10 Limbo 9/2009-12/2010 he left for his moms and came home way to many times to count Home 12/2010-present
It does seemed my h is coming around a little tiny bit. I haven't heard the d word for at least a week. Knock on wood!
That is a good place to start. Time really is on your side with this. The more opportunity you have to work on yourself (an the more time the EA has to fall apart), the better for you.
Someone on here once likened it to dating. You didn't spend all of your time discussing where the relationship is headed or what it all means, right? No, you did things together, had fun, and enjoyed each other's company. The same should apply here as well.
There will be plenty of time for R talk if and when he chooses to recommit.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Trent your comments above are very very true. I have done alot of reflectig about our m and have thoughts and concerns about what I want from our m if he chooses to recommit. But at this time I can't really have any sort of conversation with the h because he is clouded and consummed in his highschool ea.
The db coach I spoke with the other day asked me to pretend I was my husband and if she asked him to describe me, what would he say. I thought this was an excellent question and I honestly didn't know how to answer it. Sad but true. She also asked that I try to see my h differently. I have no idea how to do this at all. I've been rattling these questions in my head some.
M 35, husband 35 M 10 Limbo 9/2009-12/2010 he left for his moms and came home way to many times to count Home 12/2010-present
I got both of those questions as well. Thought-provoking, eh?
What exactly did she suggest as far as seeing your H differently?
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
