MLCer or addicted infidel?

[WhatNow]

Yes, it is hard to not laugh at much of what H comes up with! It is very much like having another teenager around. Their logic is similar.

The depression does not seem as evident to me anymore, but then I do not have much contact. The confusion was bewildering to me. He had suggested several times "combining". Moving her in, maintaining a friendship that would only entail a little hand-holding and kissing, joining in family events, all coming from an intelligent, wise, honest, successful man.
He thinks OW is his savior from this, when, in fact, I am.

I do not see how he can resolve all of his issues, while imagining OW is his issue. I am sure she is Plan Aing him to the Max!

Oh Well. I will focus on being a safe place, calm, strong, and loving for all 4 of my teenagers!

Being firm AND loving is a big thing I need to work on.
This issue has presented itself in every one of my family relationships. My Mom and sibs are users... use me (or anyone) to take care of them and their problems til there was nothing left. Distancing myself from my mom has been very difficult. I have been working out the boundaries there for at least 10 years. She involves others, which makes it difficult. First it was my aging grandparents, then aging Grand Aunts, Then loser brother and his children.

I know I can no longer give her advice, because she uses the result against me. I cannot help her at all without having to accept total responsibility for whatever the problem is at the moment. This realization took me 10 years! I know it was hard for H to watch. His advice was to cut her out totally. She was a kind and loving Nana, Holidays were fun! Anyway, H's advice was best for me, I just wasn't there yet. I have learned how to listen, and not get emotionally involved or zoom into a reaction.
I have learned how to set a boundary and stick to it...but they tend to be all or nothing boundary lines- I need a BIG white line there. I would like it to narrow a bit.

I did have a convo this morning with H re: DS13 MRI. No cause for the paralysis showed up. I filled him in on the rest of the Dr's call, and he went on to fill me in on the rest of his family's goings on, the legal issues we are having with the business, blah, him, blah blah. I was quiet, pleasant, and got off when he took a breath.

Boundaries?

My IC hasn't been of much use. Not bad but... I know more about affairs and, now, MLC. She listens and validates me but my friends are better at that. No help when it comes to ideas to try out or how to respond to H, kids, mom, etc.

Boundaries?