One life / But we're not the same

[Virtually_Handsome]

(((((Michelle)))))

Well...
He starts to see some things, he still denies some things, and he still makes excuses for some things.

At least he claims to understand why you might not like him very much! That's something, I guess.

I think I would keep any response really short, it's not like you need anything else from him.

I don't think it's necessary to explain not friending him, just don't do it.

[MichelleLT]

Maybe I read too much into that, but I still see a lot of it is as a passive aggressive cry for approval/forgiveness.

Maybe I am reading way too much into it.

I will not friend him. I don't want to see what he's up to. I like having my space too much.

[AliSuddenly]

I thought it was quite sad actally. Seems he was basically saying, he wants to kinda stay in touch with you, know you are doing ok in life and was taking an interest (like suggestingn you might enjoy the half marathon). I didnt take the bathroom thing as an insult/dig, I read it as wry attempt at humour, to lighten the mood after a revealing email (m,uch like the closing "cheers!"). I also thought it interesting that he acts like a cat..to keep his decorum. Seems he is afraid of looking foolish or being shot down in flames. I also liked that he thanked you for being there for him for the past 8 years. This is a guy that had a fragmented family, right? (his Dad has had alot of partners?)

I like that he is honest that he doesnt like that you stay friendly with his family. Alot of guys dont like that when they have moved on, I know a guy who feels uncomfortable his ex of 10 years ago still comes to the UK from the US to see his friends (she even tagged along with them unbenown to him to the Church when he got married !!). But its not because you still hold out hope, its cos you are close to MIL and FIL and SIL, right ??

Generally he seems like a guy with a lot of issues and stuff to work through and I'm glad for you that you have moved on to something easier and more rewarding with R. Things never look right in writing of this nature, you cant judge his inflection or look in his eye, but at least he admits he was wrong in several places and was unfair to you in his reactions. Seems to me he has been doing some reflecting on it all ..?

xxx

[jon2911]

Strange, I was reading just the other day how TBI has become such a common issue for those returning from Iraq, and the medical community really has no answers yet. Same as my W. Do they ever have answers?? End rant

http://blog.evernote.com/2010/03/25/user...-from-evernote/

In a strange way I relate to the guy, been there done that I guess. It really does seem to be an honest e-mail, and whether it's the actual amends step for him in recovery or not, it seems like a good attempt to me.

I'm just not as down on him as everyone else seems to be. Great that you got the money, great that he wants to be friends somewhere down the road, if you're cool with it.

[MichelleLT]

Ali - hmmm, interesting point. He never would have used humor like that in the past, but you are definitely spot on that he has been covering his insecurities since he got back from his deployment.

Jon - yeah, one of them was from an IED that knocked him over, his kevlar helmet came off and he cracked his head on the armor of their HMMWV. I told him he should make sure that was all on his VA records and talk to people about it...but of course he didn't. And I was the bad guy for bringing it up.

I don't want to be friends. I don't like the person he became. I am angry about how he blamed me, dumped on me, dumped me, lied, cheated, and dodged out on our financial responsibilities.

I made excuses for a long time. I let things slide because of his PTSD and mTBI, but when I reached my breaking point, I broke. And I don't want to put the effort into recreating some R with him when my life is quite rewarding and fine.

He'll take another dip back into his depression, and when he does I don't want him knowing where I live or being able to bug me and blame me for every little thing.

[Kalni]

This my friends, is a SMART (young) WOMAN!
HUGS kiddo
K

[Virtually_Handsome]

Smart is an understatement.

(((((Michelle)))))

[kat727]

I agree. I know I have made that comment before. Are you sure you aren't older??(though that doesn't always make you wiser!) You sound like you are doing very well.

kat

[Virtually_Handsome]

If she is older, she manages to look young, too!

[MichelleLT]

HAHAHA. You guys are silly. Although I must admit people have been telling me I act older than I am since I was 2. I must have an old soul.

Ali - yeah, his family is great, I'm actually flying down to spend this weekend with xSIL and go to some concerts this weekend. They're certainly not responsible for his behavior and they are very nice. I am just not as good as him at cutting people out of my life. After being around these people for more than 7 years I just can't imagine never speaking to them again. *shrugs*