I decided to send him an email detailing how much money he needed to deposit in order to cover bills already drafted (causing NSF fees) and about to be drafted. The last sentence of the email stated that I would write later regarding the house because I needed to run out to pick up and drop off job applications before getting D5 from school. I then texted him saying "Check your email (you can do so from your phone). I need to know what to tell guy about 4 wheeler."
He wrote back "Cash is Green & 1/2 is MINE!!! What about house?"
I have not responded.
As for S11's bday, I'll tell him that I'm willing to have one get 2gether if he'd rather that. I'm sure that's what he wants. I've done well not putting him in the middle. I don't want to start now. It is EXTREMELY difficult when he talks to his dad not to ask though. S11 is the only person he's talked to about M and as it's been a month with no M/R talk, I'd love for S11 to get details and pass them along but I don't ask.
As for house, I've spoken to L. She suggested that if he made the threat to get a L, file, and force me out again (b/c that's how he'd put it last) to tell him "I don't want to sell or get a D, but you do what you feel is best" and call his bluff. She further suggested that until one of us files papers, there is nothing stating who gets to stay in house, what he has to pay, etc. Although I should file for protection, I don't want to for the sake of it ruining my chances of R and my having his fam on my side. H has stated that if I did agree to sell house, it would in no way help in his decision on D. L also said that if I agree to sell without filing first that H could lie and say that he'll help me financially but instead do the opposite and only find a place for himself and try to take custody. (I can't see him fighting for custody though.) I feel like he's the one making this choice knowing full well that he's the only one wanting this and so he should just lie in the bed he's made. I didn't send him to a motorhome. He chose that.
Over and above that, yes, he's being a bully. One minute you think he's gonna be nice and the next, he proves you wrong. (Last Monday, the skid plate under my engine was dragging under my truck on the way to ball practice. After he showed up, I waited 30 mins, then finally asked if he happened to have a nut driver that I might borrow. He wanted to know why. In the middle of me explaining, he rudely told me that he didn't care what happened just to get to the point and say what needed to be unbolted. I quickly stopped and softly said "my skid plate is being held on by one bolt and I need to take it off". He didn't respond and instead when I turned back to see if he was staring like I thought he was, he was giving me a horrible look. Wrongly, I walked back over and calmly said "I shouldn't say this but it took everything in me to ask you for help. It's hard enough to say hello. The least you could do is be nice." He smiled a sarcastic smile and said "So, will you let me sell the house?" I didn't talk to him anymore that night.
It seems as though when I get courage to speak, which is honestly extremely rare and is typically one sentence about non-M/R/D issues, he notices and derails me by being as hateful as he can. I wouldn't be shocked if it were in response to me trying to talk M/R, but it's when I ask to borrow a tool or what amount he wants to agree on when selling something he said could be sold.
Yes, he's a bully. Yes, he's mean. Yes, he always gets his way...from everyone his whole life, including me. Think that's what's ticking him off. I won't give him his way.
I mentioned in my orig post (Newcomers--H left almost 3 week ago) that his father did this when H was about 9 yrs old. You'd think he'd remember what that felt like for his own family.
Gotta see H tonight at S11's first game. Then tomorrow and again Thurs. It's gonna be a long week!
