how do i keep my hope alive?

[trytryagain]

he was angry because he wasn't expecting me to ask him for $9,000 in one lump sum and he wasn't expecting to have to sell the bike. he said he would sell the bike but that his parents will not loan him the money for the $9k, nor would he ask them for it, so if we wanted that money in one sum, we could take him to court.

i'm sure he just felt blindsided because that is not what we verbally agreed to and he wasn't expecting big changes like that to the agreement. he is certainly playing the "victim" role right now, saying he tried so hard to provide for us and to pay the bills and to go to MC for a year together, but that it's never enough and he's tired of it.

he even went so far as to say something along the lines of, i was giving it second thoughts over the last few weeks, but all this back and forth talk about agreements and lawyers and all that...i've totally given up hope. like it's MY fault now for trying to get the agreement that he asked me to sign to a point where i'm comfortable with signing it. of COURSE i'm going to take it to a lawyer to review before i sign it. so why he would get so bent out of shape when i come back with revisions, i do not know. i do know it's killing my motivation to resolve any of this.

he blames so much on my family, especially on my mother. saying she always made him feel like he wasn't good enough. i'm not saying those aren't valid feelings, but i don't see how my mom talking about not having grandchildren led to him walking away from our M twice in 2 years.

thank god i'm seeing my IC this week. i need it!!! and a martini.