So we went and she spilled out her old complaints about me all over again and said she was never really in love with me and made a mistake marrying me and doesn't see how it can work.
Today you say this:
Quote:
Up until now, she has been quite resistant to anything like that, but I thought maybe since she seems to be trying to work on the marriage a bit, maybe I should try introducing stuff like that again.
May I ask how, where, or why do you get the impression she might be working on the marriage??? B/c she cooked a nice breakfast?
If you go back to your old thread in the WA forum, you will see where everything you are doing now is a repeat of what you did then. It didn't work then, so why are you doing it again?
Also, you said that she is still not ready for affection. You would not know that unless you tried it. I have told you to stop pursuing her with the physical touch.....but you keep doing it! Why do you persist in doing what doesn't work?
She fixes one nice meal.....just one meal and you think she is working at the marriage! That is why a lot of WAW's treat their H's cold, b/c he will jump at the tinest positive sign and think everything is just dandy....and it's not even begun yet.
I know I sound like I'm trying to drag you down, but that is not my goal. I am trying to help you see the way it is with her.
I don't think she is ready to read books or anything else, at this point. What you don't seem to understand is that she has to take things a step at a time. The first step for her is to detach herself from the OM. Do you believe that she can tell the OM good-bye one minute and be on track with you the next? Maybe you do, but that is not realistic and it is not how women in EA's operate.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
