Your H doens't care how you feel. I would tell him his KIDS are frustrated and sad... he MIGHT care how they feel... But I doubt it... He's an addict.
Do not threaten exposure... you either expose, or you don't do it at all.
If you threaten to expose your H will just expose first HIS WAY and smear you in the process...
If these kids are going to be put into the loop you need to get there first... They will be angry at whomever waited Last to tell them... don't let that be you.
I would just tell him you aren't going to make excuses for him... Or pick up his slack.
Tell him he wanted control and that means he needs to be sober.
Tell him "you can't manage a household drunk"
Again I would just teach your kids to call a taxi. Really they are of an age that they need to learn that if someone's been drinking, you call a cab, you don't call mom, you call a cab on your own and get home.
YOU keep track of the taxi debt that's built up and show H once it hits key points 100 bucks, 200 bucks, etc
