S11's bday is Sat. H asked what we were doing. B4 all of this, we'd planned on having families over to cook and eat cake and ice cream then H and I bringing S11 and friends to go do something.
Had D5's bday party two Sundays ago. Had normal party at neutral place (minus a few of my family members who couldn't stomach being around H right now).
Told H that I thought it might be best for him to take S11 to eat with his family and I do the same with mine. H thought that strange since we had normal party for D5. Told him that she's still supposed to have kiddie parties whereas S11 too old for that. H seemed to think that we should just have everyone get together (his fam and mine) and cook at one time. S11 said he was ok with sep fam get 2gethers but didn't appear ok with it. (He doesn't understand why it's wierd for us all to be 2gether like nothing's going on. He doesn't know how my father and brothers feel about H.)
Final plans were for H to get S11 Fri night for get together and me do something with my fam Sat night.
Am I wrong for planning things sep? Should I have agreed to one get 2gether even though some of my fam wouldn't show? Should I ask to go with his fam Fri night? (His fam wants things to work out so don't think they would mind.) What do I tell his fam if they ask why doing things sep?
