I Agree with NM and Gr8. I understand the urge to get something off of your chest and wanting to defend yourself. I also understand how you feel like they all turned on you... i went/am going through the same situation. But when i sent my inlaws an email trying to say the same as what you mentioned above, they misconstrued everything i was saying and at first took it as I was not going to speak with them either. It took many emails back and forth and a visit from FIL, to rectify the situation. Although this is really not about them, they are hurting too in their own way. Just as you respected and loved them as your own family, I am sure they feel the same way.
if it should ever come up or they do contact you again, or you feel best by talking or meeting up with them, here are some things i wrote down and accumulated from different threads that spoke to me... maybe you would want to sum up in short a point of two showing that you take responsibility and you are willing to work it out... "This separation has forced me to really look at where I've screwed up during our marriage. Im sorry to have put H through that. These past few months have also made me aware of things about myself that I am not happy with and I am taking this opportunity to learn who I want to be and grow into that person. I take full responsibility for my part in what went wrong in our marriage, and I am fully prepared and 100% willing to work on those issues. I believe H and I have what it takes to make our M work. I believe in our love and what we had and would start all over to make things a billion times better if only given the opportunity."
in order to move forward and grow, we do need to accept responsibility. Obviously our spouses were not happy with the way things were, so if they did return and want to try, changes would have to be made. no, it does not mean compromising who you are... look at it as he is allowing you to become the best possible person you can be right now.
We have to learn something from this experience and become better people from it, no matter what the situation is. Like MWD says... be the wonderful person that H fell in love with years ago...
If you tell his family some of this or show them this through your actions and your 180s and by GAL, then they too will see that you are or have done your part.
