I am not sure about the OM yet, he is trying to be my friend through email right now. Plus she has told me there is nothing like that between them and she does not think of him that way.
First of all, Larsenem, thank you for your service to our country.
Your wife is lying to you. This man is NOT your friend; he is a PREDATOR. Do not answer his e-mails, other than perhaps ONCE replying "Please do not contact us. My wife and I are trying to work on our marriage." I would suggest you take what steps are necessary to gain some accurate intel on the nature of their relationship, and protect you and your family accordingly.
I would also advise you to not communicate things to her in writing -- as you did above -- which she could use against you, legally.
