So, today, after my suggestion, we spent the day with H's father and sister. After BiL's phonecall asking me for help, I told H that I thought his oppinion may be cruicial for how their D will turn out. Her L wants to go to court, he suggested a peaceful one. H agrees they should not goto court because if they do, witnesses will be called and things will be said that will be harmful.
I discreetely took the kids and went for a long walk to leave them to talk. I want no part in this.
Then H left to go to work and my kids wanted to stay with their cousins. I stayed, being polite and all with H's sister.I want to throw up from holding back for hours. Here I am, being nice to a woman who claimed to have me as her best friend, who never bothered to call and ask how I was the whole 3 years, who never even called when my dad had the operations, who I had been supporting through her mom's illness and death, her jealousy for her H, her problems with her 18yr old son, who I know chit chatted with Christine (OW), probably giving her advice how to get my H to commit to her...
I am telling you this is hard. And I dont care of the high road is what I should be taking -which I am anyway- but this is just too sick...
I kept wanting to ask her if she liked Ow or if she still lets her know what's going on with our life. Not to mention the way she treats her stbxH.
It's funny how some times you feel free of ...responsibility towards a person, you write them off. I am telling H I want limited contact with her. I am not obliged by anything to be anything but civil. And one of these days, she will be put in her place. I cant be anything but honest.
June and addie, I know you know how I feel. The rollercoaster of emotions is still part of my life. Good thing is I can now control myself better. He is trying, but he is still unaware of the work that needs to be done.
Forrest, my love language is Physical contact/touch/connection. And words of affirmation. Granted I still havent heard "I love you" from him, I charge my batteries from sex. Btw, I think his is also physical, the secondary one... K
That sounds like a very tough day. SIL definitely betrayed you and it's hard to be around someone who has treated you that way. I hope that your H appreciates what you are doing for his family by facilitating that.
How do you know that your H doesn't realize the work that needs to be done? Maybe he has a different idea of what the work is and the timing of it?
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Kalni, are you on facebook? I was trying to read some of your old threads for some reason...then remembered I needed to look up a recipe for kalamata olive tapenade (lol!) and then read some of your posts that sounded like I was writing them.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Interesting that I also have negative feelings towards some of XW's family members. Feelings of betrayal? Perhaps....perhaps I just was not too fond of them prior to the bomb. We can try to dissect all we want but blood is thick. So....you did very well to stick around for your kids....I would have been out of there (maybe left the kids to play with their cousins). You are alos doing well to stay out of this...it is a no win. How can anybody on this site side with a WAW? Keep your distance and concentrate on VS and the horizontal tango!
@K-"The rollercoaster of emotions is still part of my life. Good thing is I can now control myself better."
The way you managed your emotions during the SIL interaction speaks volumes. Just hearing about it makes me a little sick @ her. John is correct though, blood is very thick. He's also correct that it's something you would be off staying away from as much as you can.
My MIL & SIL have said very little in these 3 yrs. Actually, one sentence each, at the beginning, letting me know they didn't approve of H's actions. I do know they met OW when they were here this summer, and wondered how that went for a short period before I let it go, only because it was doing me more harm by occupying my mind.
@K-"And one of these days, she will be put in her place."
And she probably will be, by her own hand, as her world continues to spiral downward. Someone on here, always comments that living well is the best revenge...
