Just found out she already filed

[ImprovedRomeo]

FM, I swear sometimes I wish you, J, OF and several others here we all lived in the same house! life would be so much easier.

If you really were moving on with your life you wouldn't be offering to pay costo bills and things like that.

See I'm not sure about this part, as an example if one of my ex gf's from 13 years ago reappeared and needed some help I'd totally pay a $50 bill for her. Maybe it's just my nature but it's hard for me to see her suffer especially when I'm sure she's had to buy lots of things over again including stuff for DD even little things like toothpaste/brush/shampoos/PJs etc.

So far I haven't said anything R related to her, thanks to you guys for the 2x4s but I feel that's a personal victory for me - just the resisting part.

We are moving forward for ourselves and our children but we're only human, as I wrote elsewhere we can't be a light switch to turn ourselves on/off at will. Maybe a few years from now but not in a few weeks/months. But we'll keep on keeping on...

Thanks for the kudos! I went for a bike ride today too and noticed that unlike last time I didn't keel over on the way back which is mostly uphill, so I'm gaining some strength.

STBXW never replied to my email about DD wanting to see me today but just fwd'd me an email about the house across the street from me that's for sale. I won't but felt like saying 'are you buying it so we can neighbors?'

OK just talked to DD as I was typing this. So looks like STBXW decided to go for her bike training trip afterall and her roommate will be watching DD. This is the first time anyone's ever watched DD outside of her daycare, ever! It pisses me off because she didn't even bother to tell me about it like she can do wahtever with DD on the days she has her.

[flowmom]

Make sure you get first right of refusal in the custody arrangement. If your dd is in childcare for more than x number of hours, the other parent has the option of taking the child. But you are GAL anyway tomorrow morning. It'll be OK

I know you can't just turn off your feelings, but oozing "nice guy" isn't what you want to project to your W right now. Sorry for the 2x4 but it's time for some 180s. Go back to the "devil may care" persona that briefly appeared in one of your threads

[ImprovedRomeo]

FM, believe it or not I welcome the 2x4s, I need them too. Ah the devil may care persona somehow got killed especially after the D bomb. The username change believe it or not I don't really care about. I'd have to request it changed through one of the moderators here because I can't change it myself but I really don't pay attention to it, it's just a username...

I did spend sometime watching youtube videos on improving self esteem. It'll come back with time.

I sent STBXW an email about the DD arrangement because I felt it was necessary:

"Please let me know next time you're leaving DD with someone else especially if you're going to be out of town. There's no way for me to get in touch with DD if there's an emergency."

Two sentences, to the point. She can take it how she wants to. I've decided to not ignore her email about the house for sale, what does she expect me to say anyway? "thanks Ms. CNN, now my life is complete with that news"

[flowmom]

Ah the devil may care persona somehow got killed especially after the D bomb.

The cool thing about devils is that they're not that easy to kill . Dig deep and find him...not for your W, but for YOU.

The username change believe it or not I don't really care about. I'd have to request it changed through one of the moderators here because I can't change it myself but I really don't pay attention to it, it's just a username...

It's not just a username. It's how you're presenting yourself to a community of people who you share many of your deepest feelings and thoughts. You picked that username because you think you've been stupid, or are stupid. Even if you still think that, it's time to do the little things to project a different image outward.

How you present yourself creates a lot of feedback loops because people react to you differently, and that affects how you feel about yourself. You can't change your self-esteem overnight, but you can start making little changes that reflect a choice to take a more positive view of yourself.

Please read this:

http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/choose_joy-acting-as-If--fake-it-til-you-make-it.html

[ImprovedRomeo]

I had a great time today. I drove to my buddy's house and he drove to Long Beach from there. He was nice enough to take his new Porsche out so I could ride in it and 'so we can just have fun'.

I bought a cute shirt for DD too: Fast Kitty Racing

We spent pretty much all day at the race. I kept thinking about DD how she was doing or missing her mom or me etc but I just resisted the urges to call. We got back to his house around 6pm and then his wife asked if I wanted to join them for dinner at a restaurant. I accepted and had a good meal with them. Got home and ironed my clothes for the next couple of days.

Just catching up on your sitches while waiting for DD to call. At 9:40pm I knew I had to call STBXW since obviously DD's probably asleep by now. W answers and says "she already went to sleep, she was tired. I asked her to call you but she said she wanted to see you - she didn't want to call you. sorry." - hmmm I said OK after a brief pause. She then said she didn't go to her biking practice afterall. I said oh! how come? she said 'I don't know...' I said 'you couldn't wake up that early could you?' just jokingly she said 'no I did but I wasn't feeling well when I got up'. I said 'sorry to hear that'. She said 'yeah so she was with me all day'. I said 'well I was thinking about calling to check on her but I figured you'd call if there was a problem'. She said 'yeah she was fine'. I said 'ok hope you feel better tomorrow, bye' then we hung up. Took all of 1 min if that.

FM, thanks for the tips and I did read the article, you posted it before but it was a good review anyway, thanks.

Well the username may project that but honestly I just meant 'hopeless romantic' by it not that I'm stupid. In fact, I actually think I'm a pretty sharp guy in my field as well as with managing money etc. Just not in relationships and social life but I'll work on faking it till I make it

[Gardener]

SR,

Well the username may project that but honestly I just meant 'hopeless romantic' by it not that I'm stupid. In fact, I actually think I'm a pretty sharp guy in my field as well as with managing money etc. Just not in relationships and social life but I'll work on faking it till I make it

I hear ya on this. When I was lurking before joining in last year, I was thinking of a username. As a "hopeless romantic", too I almost went with my favorite literary character and called myself "Cyrano" But glad I went with Gardener, nonetheless.

I gave my cat the name of one of my other favorite literary characters. Since we got the cat the day before Gregory Peck died, we named him Atticus. Best cat in the world. X asked to take cat when she moved out so she wouldn't be lonely. "Sure!," said Mr. Nice Guy/Cyrano.
X then turned artound and bought a dog!

But I digress, as always (what would a Gardener post be without a non-sequitur digression (or without parentheses, for that matter?))

[whatisis]

Romeo, just log in, click on My Stuff and then click on "edit profile" and you can change your name! Do it, don't be stupid anymore!
Hey, why don't we have a little contest to pick the best new screen name for Romeo. We're here to help you with all those big life changing things SR. I'm gonna give this a little thought, don't want to rush in with a poorly thought out name for ya!

[ImprovedRomeo]

Wii, I thought they'd turned off the option to change our usernames but I just checked and you're right!

I like the contest idea!

[whatisis]

Hey, my years of experience on this site have finally come to fruitation. Let the contest begin!

[alice444]

I think we should do what I did before and try to find the best Roman/Greek god that has the characteristics SR has or wants to aspire to