I need help in the biggest way. I feel so helpless

[timehealsall]

So that's what I have to do now, huh?

I am with a man who I get along with fairly great. We are raising our kids together, live together, sleep in the same bed together and do family activities and share laughs and watch tv together..

YET, he loves me but isn't in love with me and he doesn't think this marriage will work, wants to separate (some days he'll say yes, usually after we've had an argument), thinks too much has happened and I won't get over his A. hmmmm..

Also, he holds so much anger and resentment towards me and blameshifted all his wrongdoing onto me. I am the reason he did what he did. go figure.

All that would make our R better is if he were affectionate towards me. We have S but it's just that, S. The only time I've felt something more from him (like passion) is when we are together right when he comes back hom from being overseas.

The past number of times he's been away, he has expressed that he misses me in telephone convos, emails, over webcam, etc.

Yet he comes home and after a few days/week, he'll start in and start acting odd and then I'll bite and feed into it (stupid me that's me backsliding) and then he reacts and starts in with the whole LS/D talk.

So this brings me to now.

The best way is for me to detach. Am I right? I know I'm stronger. I know I will be okay no matter the outcome.. but will this work? I just hate this. Our R used to be so easy and effortless in the beginning. Why couldn't we have put more effort into maintaining that and keeping our marriage healthy and happy. ugh...