Friday night we had pizza night at home and watched movies.
Saturday: S5's practice was cancelled because of the weather, so we all went to the gym and worked out. We then came home and H and S went to get haircuts and do some laundry and the girls and I prepared a nice dinner. H and S came home and we all ate and then the kids got baths and went to bed. H was in the mood and although part of me didn't want to give in, I am human and have my needs too and so I did. We later watched some DVRd shows and then went to sleep.
Sunday, I went to my folks house to drop my girls off and then S and I went home and we went to H's game. we then went for a few beers and dinner at a local place.
We went home. Put S to bed and H put the trash out and I was already showered and in bed. H then showered and went into bed.
I have been very pleasant and happy and just trying NOT to think about what is going to happen. My H and I are fine in terms of how we are getting along.. I don't ask him any questions about anything and he had at one point tried to prove a point and I just told him that it really didn't matter and just let it be. H is still checked out affection-wise... does not initiate any contact and I have been trying my best not to reach out to him. I will admit, that it's hard.. I'm a touchy feely person to begin with.
This morning, I left and didn't kiss him goodbye or anything. rather just wished him a safe trip and left. he was "sleeping" or whatever. didn't acknowledge me. I would love to know what is going on in that head of his.
I have been reading Not just friends.. and alot of parts have hit the nail on the head in terms of his expectations in our marriage. My husband has expressed that he wants to feel the feeling of being in love and the romanticism that goes along with it. I guess you could say we both became comfortable in our marriage so that feeling wore off.. I guess he thinks that being that he is in the whole ILYBINILWY, he thinks that being in a relationship with someone else will give him that thrill and excitement like he had when he was in an A.
I dunno. just rambling here. I am a little sad that he is leaving today. The unknown is scary. I know that I WILL be okay no matter what.. But it's still hard to believe that this man is the same man I met 11 years ago and that was once such a vital piece of my life.
Hope everyone has a good day..
Over here, it's just another Manic Monday.
M: 32 H: 34 S:5 D: 3 D: 1 Together 11 years Married 7 Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off) ILYBINILWY: 08/09
"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting." -Laura Munson
