Time for a family level intervention in my opinion... still think the kids will side with him?
I'm really still trying to work this through. DSD will side with me. DSS20 I know will side with me b/c I'm like a mom to him, he loves me, but eventually I am sure H would sit him down and give him the "sometimes people just fall out of love" speech, and then he'd side with Daddy. He's always been close to his dad, which is why he came to live with us 8 years ago, he just needed to be with his dad and stepdad was abusing him.
DSS15 is confused and angry and has a lot of emotional issues. He identifies with stepdad, who has anger issues, and DSS15 has issues with anger... but stepdad just moved down south with mom, abandoning him. Now he's left with a dad he's never felt very close to b/c mom told him since he was little that he abandoned him, but he wants to be close to dad... and he's been taking him fishing lately, driving him to his activities, trying to become close. Spending time playing video games, so although he's affected by dad abandoning him overnights, he's taking what he can from it and feeling as close as he ever has to dad... if I expose to him, it may make him question his dad as a man, it may confuse him and make him think it's OK to cheat on women, and it may make him turn against me b/c I hurt his dad... he's the one I'm most worried about. I'm just not sure that he can handle the emotions involved with exposing. It may confuse and hurt him for life. This boy should be in therapy but we stopped b/c for months we'd take him and he wouldn't talk, so it was wasting time and money to take him.
