It makes him a poor person, it just happens that part of that personality is Dad, and thus he is a very poor dad.
When we first got together, I was very conscious that he was a dad and really made sure he spent time with his kids, called them every night. They were 4 and 8 when they divorced, so it was important to me that he become a good dad. He thought they didn't need them, but soon came to realize they did.
When his EA was in full force, DSS20 was 12 and living with us. He never abandoned him, in fact, nothing changed at all for son, other than he noticed dad was treating me with less respect and thus he also treated me with less respect. I stood up and demanded respect from both of them.
That's another way this is so different this time. With me, there was no drinking, no depression, just looking forward to a good future. I really thought the M was over and didn't realize we were carrying on an A - and I guess it wasn't long because he moved out within a few weeks to live with me. With the EA, he drank heavily, but it was while he was at home. He went on long "drives" where I'm sure he went to see her, but didn't drink unless he was home. He drinks probably 3x as much now as he did then.
And abandoning the kids and all responsibility is very, very new. He has NEVER done this before. He feels entitled to control, entitled - like he feels like he's spent his entire life taking care of others and now it's time for him. He's right, he has, but so has everyone else I know - that's part of being an adult.
He's just such a child. He was never like this when he first got together with me. The one similarity to us in the beginning and his OW now is that he said we were soul mates, and the EA was his soul mate also.
Now he's just such an immature, angry, entitled brat. He's so silent also, not telling me anything that's going on with him. It's like we're strangers. We never interact at all.
Somehow, Puppy, it just seems to much worse when a MOTHER abandons her kids. I know that's crazy, and stereotyping, but it just seems like that to me, ya know?
