Game Point

[tryingtilDorR]

I get this a lot too. The WAS has to come up with someone to blame because THERE'S NO WAY a good person like them would ever do something so horrible as have an affair. "HE is not why we are where we are." NO KIDDING. We each own 50% of the responsibility for the state of our marriage. Doesn't excuse the horrible decision to go outside of the marriage. THAT is ALL WAW's fault. However HE is the reason WAW can't bring themselves to go about the hard task of fixing the problems in the marriage. As long as HE is around, reconciliation is impossible.

I have been through this 1000 times with her and it goes in circles, since she goes back to the 'marriage made me do it' and 'it was already over' position. Textbook stuff. I tell her I wasn't happy in the M either, but I didn't decide to find an OW to make myself happy to try to point out the contrast.

As dark as it may seem tryingtilDorR, your wife still seems very conflicted about this. As long as that is the case, there is hope. Hang in there and leave it all up to the man upstairs. You know what He wants. Those who cross His will create massive problems for themselves.

Very comforting words pigskin. I agree that while God can't force people to make the right decisions (I really understood this by reading The Shack), He can make them pay for the wrong ones in some way.

I am actually looking forward to her being gone for both of our sake (but not for my kids). The time apart will help us sort ourselves out some more I think. I know things will turn out badly with OM so she might as well just get on with it, and I am looking forward to not having to see her much any more and reassessing my life once she is physically gone.