Time for darkness.... (thread number 3)ears open

[james217]

I know I'm going to regret this, but I feel like I have to comment.

Rob and PDT give flack but they give flack to almost everyone. I expect that from them.

With you I see compassion towards others. But giving me a hard time why?

That is ridiculous. First of all, if that double standard is based on ideas that men are supposed to be direct and firm and women are supposed to be nurturing and soft, then you have more issues to work on. If it's not, then you're simply not paying very close attention.

CityGirl is so NOT the rah-rah type. I can't remember seeing an instance where she's just patting someone on the back for no good reason. Yes, she is compassionate and supportive but that's because the person she is talking to warrants that response.

From what I've read of your sitch (which isn't a lot because I can't stomach people wallowing in self-pity) several people have been direct with you and you have refused to follow their advice, get upset, and wallow some more.

This is what you said to Puppy a couple pages back:

Yep I messed up bad i'm disappointed in myself and I know you are too.

You have spent alot of your time trying to help and I didn't listen and made things alot worse.

Yet you berate CG for being direct and suggesting you need to do things differently?

Those of us who have walked through fire and come out the other side are trying to pay it forward and help other people get through similar terrible situations and hopefully do so quicker and easier than we did. We understand the pain and want to do our part to lessen it for others as much as possible.

Speaking for myself, I choose not to spend my valuable time and energy posting to people who repeatedly ignore offered advice and then chalk it up to "but I'm trying."

You're lucky to have some heavy hitters here. I recommend actually following their advice for a change.

I fell asleep but I already explained that I don't expect a woman to be this way or a man to be that way because my mother is very blunt.

I have lurked over this board for a long time reading sitches and I expect PDT and ROB to be really blunt.

I did not expect that from C.G. but now that she explained why she was being that way (to keep me from being hurt)

I understand why.

WAW made me feel extremely guilty. she'd be crying and I'd try to help. or get in a jam and I'd try to help. Or tell me I did this and this wrong and I'd apologize and try to make amends

So it's hard when you feel like your WAW is reaching out to you and needs you and to turn your back on them.

I need to be better about that.