1. Who you expose to 2. The relationships you have with the exposed party 3. The relationships your partner has with the exposed party 4. The response of the exposed parties to WS 5. The content of the exposure 6. The behaviour of the LBS during exposure and post exposure
With my wife, yes, she went underground again... I just exposed again... The thing is, if WS LIES to the exposed party and says soemthing like "he's not having an affair anymore, he's leaving the family alone" and then you catch him again - you can just expose again...
The exposure DOES have impact, because they insist on HIDING it... if exposure was ineffective they wouldn't hide... it DOES shake the affair up when it's brought out into public view.
You may not SEE the strain on the affair that exposure causes.. those fights are done in secret between those two, but you can be sure it DOES shake things up quite a bit.
Remember too Pass that your H is playing a similar game as you are... He is trying to "play it cool" as much as you are right now... you are "acting as if", and he's playing that game to challenge you...
Your H feels entitled right now, he has buried any remorse he has for his actions in order to save face. His addiction is so strong right now that he can't allow remorse to surface... it is too overwhelming for him. So he uses anger to suppress the remorse. He smiles, but there's a dagger in every one...
You won't see the effects of exposure on him... Exposure is used to shake up the foundations of the infidelity and weaken its hold on them... And I do believe it has done that in spades.
He feels entitled, but I think the exposure put a significant doubt in both their minds... don't expect them to ADVERTIZE that doubt.. But I am confident it's there.
My wife had doubts for a very long time after I started confronting the infidelity properly.. but I never saw it... i had to do recon to find out, and to interview her after withdrawal... she acted as if as well as I was...
I act as if the affair doens't hurt like hell She acts as if the exposure didn't phase her
We were BOTH PERFORMING to save face against the other
