I think my only consequences right now that H cares about are financial. He's afraid of leaving, being on his own.
The scary part of this mess Pass is that your Husband doesn't seem to bat an eye over the fact that' he's homewrecking another home with young children in it - he's covertly attacking a family and he's proud of it...
THAT is addiction in play... full force...
He can be as angry with you as he wants... but the OWH is nothing to him.. hasn't done an ounce of harm to that man, but your H feels blatantly entitled to attack his home and break up that man's family because of how your H feels... It's frightening how powerful addiction can be...
I think your H would need to see those children crying and the conflict in that home... all the shouting and pain for it to even make a dent in his brain right now...
