Is this piecing?

[flowmom]

H4L, I still regularly get trapped in psychoanalyzing H and figuring out what he should do. I was in a big loop of that yesterday. But I'm starting to see that for what it is: an attempt to control on my part. There is so much loss of control as we watch our families disintegrate and it's understandable that we feel desperate to rescue the situation. But the bottom line is that we can't fix our Hs or even help them to make better choices. Right now it has to come from them, and from the Universe or whatever is running this show. To think that you can make your H understand anything in MC is probably not realistic. I think you should stop MC and make it clear that you're not willing to work on the R as long as there is an OW involved.

As far as greeting you and S...I set a boundary about that early on after the separation. I said that the children need to see us have normal interactions which includes expected polite greetings. He agreed to that even though it didn't come easily to him. It's probably gotten easier for him, though because he can trust that I simply will not go there with R talks.

hugs!