Then why not say that? It seems like you are being extremely hard on me. Rob and PDT give flack but they give flack to almost everyone. I expect that from them.
If you are talking about the night in May of 2008 when my H came over here and he was active in his affair... I DID say I shared the story to show how damaging it can be to a LBS that does not set boundaries. You said you read all my posts and I spent almost an entire day sharing that story with Kevin in Dallas when he was having lots of trouble setting boundaries. So, if you read them all you would know I was very upfront about all the mistakes I made.
Nobody is giving you "flack". Honestly, you just don't listen to what you don't like to hear so it seems the very direct and blunt way is the best way with you. We have told you over and over again you are making things worse, much worse yet you don't listen. So why bother? Rob, Puppy and ME have been through this already and instead of arguing about EVERYTHING that is kindly posted to you why not just take ONE day and really listen?
With you I see compassion towards others. But giving me a hard time why? Because of our health issues? To push me harder? I mean what?
I have not given you a hard time. Seeing the situation you are in that is a very immature stance to take. I have offered you feedback based on what you have shared. You just didn't like it. Then you went to my threads and picked out bits and pieces without having all the information. IMO you are the one giving me a hard time.
I'm not near where you were C.G. I'm not as strong as you were when you were dealing with this. I wish I was but I'm not. I want my WAW to love me and be happy with me again. But I don't want her back the way she is acting and the way I'm still hurt and trying to get over things myself and work on those issues I know I have.
Actually, I wasn't strong. I was hospitalized twice, once for a nervous breakdown. But I started listening and then I got stronger. What you posted above is ALL the more reason to listen. I loved my husband. I still do actually. As I type this he is moving into a townhouse with OW. Do you think that is easy for me? It's not. But I am curbing that crushing feeling by participating here then going to a b-day party later. When he comes Tuesday to move the last of his furniture I will find something productive to do then FOR ME. So no, it's not easy.
I'm not even going to read the rest of the stuff about your W. Going dark is two fold. One part NO CONTACT (text, e-mail, phone) and the other part is making your W "dark" in your mind. Instead of posting all this crap about your W you should be training your mind to focus on you and YOU only. So when you gave me sh*t about me saying walking wasn't good you again, were NOT listening. Walking is great however mentally you need to be pushing yourself as well. And you are not.
I suggested you find resources on the following:
emotional thought stopping detachment all aspects of going dark personal goal setting
I have four huge binders filled with resources from the boards, the Internet, my IC and my "in person" divorce support group. Chances are I have read or have filed what you come across. Let me know what you read and if I haven't read it, I will then we can discuss it. That is a big part of going dark - focusing on you. Not all these posts about your W.
ANYBODY here is welcome to ask me anything about my experience and situation but picking out little bits is not the right way to do it. Telling me I am not compassionate is pretty far off base IMO.
You are mentally torturing yourself which will lead to more sickness. But pointing that out to you makes me rude and thoughtless so not sure what else to say.
