Ok, yeah...on the surface it does seem like a good idea. Some grand gesture. But yeah, we're both on the mortgage, so you're right. I shouldn't do anything above and beyond paying my half.
I just meant. He could/should be the one to send it in. If they both pay half he should only pay half. My point was, CG stated that in the past she handled all that stuff and he let a lot of things slip to her. So do a 180 and take care it (send in the check and coupon) yourself.
I would actually go get a separate account on Monday. If she is playing games to get under your skin, it reasonable to expect she will start playing games with money.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
it's always good to get a separate account for your pay and do what you can to separate credit cards, etc. when dealing with a WAS who is having an affair, along with the affair, some expensive habits tend to follow (restaurants, hotels, gifts for the affair partner, etc.)
yeah, that's what set everything off this morning. I opened up my own account and moved the money from my paycheck that went in on Friday, so she noticed the balance of our old account dropped significantly.
In terms of paying it, we've always just done it online through bill pay because our mortgage is through the same bank, so it takes all of 10 seconds to do it.
I hope the car issue is settled. She really, really should not be driving your car. It's your car right? She is not on the title, is that correct? She has no license and no insurance correct? Why would you, why would anyone expose themselves like that?
You can probably go on line and set the automatic payment to pull a certain amount (your half of the mortgage) from your account and the other half from hers.
Stand strong, calm, and confident. Do not antagonize or be petulant, just cool.
BTW tomorrow when she wants you to come by and pick her up for work, tell her, I leave THIS house for work at xxx time. You are welcome to join me, if indeed, you feel she is actually welcome to join you. If not, she can find her own ride. Don't go pick her up. She said you were "done". That would also mean you are "done" doing favors for her.
Last edited by DownNotOut...yet; 04/18/1008:29 PM.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
Well, it was paid for by both of us, but yeah, the title is in my name. Somehow, I guess because our car insurance is through the same company as our homeowners, she ended up as an additional driver on the car policy without them checking her DL info. But that doesn't really matter with no license. Why does she want to expose herself like that? Because she thinks that I'm just trying to control, trap her and force her to still depend on me. There's no point or statement that I can make to her that makes her see that yeah, the situation sucks but, I'm the one that wasn't so irresponsible that I let my license expire like 6 years ago and at this point, I do in fact, by the law, own the car, have a license and insurance, and I also have a job that requires me to be there. . .so, i do feel for her and the situation, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to start making crazy sacrifices to fix her problems. Not anymore at least.
Ugh, now a guilt trip text. She's asking if I'm going to take one of our pets away from her. He's more or less the only one of them that early doesn't favor one of us over the other.
You're not getting it. YOU are the one who is exposed, not her. The car is in YOUR name. So you will be the one that gets sued. Additionally, if there is a claim against the insurance, as soon as they see she had no license at the time of accident, your coverage will likely be void.
There is no point are statement you can make that will make her see anything. Stop thinking and talking like that. You worry about you, not her.
Correct on not making crazy sacrifices. Moreover why would you even go significantly out of your way to accommodate her, a wayward spouse. If she shows up when the taxi leaves the house, she is welcome to a ride, if you don't mind.
You don't fix her problems.
You can be nice about it but be nice and firm.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
