Exh came by today...twice. He came by earlier this morning with some medication for baby that I asked him to pick up and then this afternoon he just showed up. No call. No text.
Tonight I sent him a nice text that said 'hey...i think its best that you call or text before coming by. I am sure you understand. Thanks'.
GOOD STUFF....
He flipped! Called me and asked what he did wrong now. I said nothing I just think its best we have some boundaries. He got angry and said this was about me being controlling and still wanting to control everything. I said no, it was about me having some privacy. I said nothing has to change other than you giving a simple call or text to see if we are home or busy.
Good stuff....
He didn't like that at all, proceeded to call me more names and tell me how unhappy he is etc. I said I am not being difficult, just want to be able to relax in my own home.
HANG UP the phone. Tell him to call if and when he can act like an adult, you won't be talked to this way, and HANG UP and who the heck cares if this brat gets mad? You won't have to care if you don't listen to it.
As for his non visiting hours and the texts, what was the point in him asking when he can see HIS daughter only to tell you he is NOT coming? How crazy is that? Too crazy and he's still making this your fault. There's no hope with this guy b/c he won't ever think it's HIM...OMG...not just nerve, but wacky nerve.
Curious, Why were you still available after he told you he wasn't coming and acted as if his ambiguous message was clear? Why not call him on missing yet another appointment or merely making a note of it? I mean, at some level does he even know this does NOT help him look good in anyone's eyes but his own?
Why must YOU be there when he visits? Can't he take a friend or trusted family member with him for his visits? Why is it YOUR responsibility to supervise him when the court ordered that his visits be supervised? I see you taking on way too much of this HIM stuff...if he had to arrange it, and had to "man up" to all the logistics of HIS self inflicted situation, the visits would probably happen WAY MORE and on time, OR NOT AT ALL and aren't both of those possibilities better than what you have now? You have more power than you think.
As for putting baby first, to a point that makes total sense. They are not able to care for themselves. But like the O2 tank on a plane that loses oxygen, if you don't put the mask on your face first, you won't be able to hold the baby's mask on her face at all. And you'll both die... And there's also value in HER seeing you as a strong, dignified woman who earns and demands respect and when it's not given, being a woman who moves along to those who CAN and DO give it. You also have other children to model those behaviors for....this is NOT being "selfish"...it's being healthy.
j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
